Friday, June 20, 2008

Does Anyone Remember When I Swore I'd Never Play In Another Golf Tournament? Evidently I lied...

Yes, we are leaving today for a public course up on the other side of Abilene, to play in a small tournament of around 8 to 10 couples. So, when I stated that I would not be playing in any more tournaments, I was apparently lying. Being a woman, I can, of course, change my feeble mind whenever & wherever I feel like it. It's a woman's perrogative.

So, we've loaded the 4-Runner with both of our golf bags and all of the extra accoutrements required to appear as if we know what the Hell we're doing. We don't. Let me just clarify that right away. You know... just in case there is someone out there in the blogosphere that doesn't already know this.

Luckily, our tournament organizer (the friend I play with on Wednesdays & Fridays) has been kind enough to make our tee times for 8:30 in the morning, both Saturday & Sunday. I also adore this course. In my mind's eye, we're looking at a win win situation here. Sure, I'm probably totally delusional, but the best part is that... No Matter What... we don't play with our own spouses. That right there raises my win-ability factor a few hundred notches. Don't laugh.. It Could Happen. In a perfect world anyway.

The course is one of the prettiest courses in Texas that I've ever had the pleasure to play. They keep it groomed to perfection and it is truly a visual feast. It is not an easy course, by any means, but it's a challenge and it's fun. Granted, I have heat induced Tourette's Syndrome, but all of the players are well aware of this and seem to be completely tolerant of my affliction. Actually, around a dozen people dropped out of the tournament at the last minute, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with me since I'm no threat to anyone. Unless they cannot stand to hear worse cuss words than a sailor spews. Yes, I'm feminine like that. Or perhaps not. Just consider me an inigma, because I am, you know. Everyone seemingly knows my Modus Operatus, so there shouldn't be any looks of surprise if & when I drop a few dozen F-Bombs. It's always good to be among friends.

You'll love this part, I think. We are staying at Motel Hell, but, since we've been there before, we are prepared. One friend is bringing his big ass smoker/grill. Everyone is bringing a plentiful supply of liquor (meaning vodka & whiskey) and food. We will all show up with plenty of good music and CD players with which to play the music. We basically take over the entire motel and woe be unto the poor unsuspecting person who decides to stay there for a night of quiet contemplation & sleep. That won't be happening. Each motel room is equipped with a small fridge, which, along with all of our ice filled coolers, should be more than adequate. None of us travel lightly when it comes to libations & cuisine.

Friday night, as everyone is arriving, sandwiches, appetizers and cocktails will be plentiful. On Saturday night, there will be a major meat fest, with beef tenderloins on the menu. They would have to beat me away with a stick huge tree limb in order to keep me from eating our planned cuisine. It's actually like an enormous tailgate party... only much better. We're all ruthless food snobs, no matter the location or the fare. Out of the entire group, there are only two who don't cook.

So, I do promise to take as many pictures as sobriety allows or doesn't allow. I might get 2 or 3 pictures. Then again, I might get as many as 20. It all depends on the mood I'm in at the time. It also might depend on whether or not I can focus the camera and shoot. Time will tell, so get over it. I SWEAR I'm going to have fun this time. Really. I promised, didn't I?

12 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

Good luck! And, cheers!

Mamahut said...

Have a blast Snooty!

Anonymous said...

I don't golf but I could hang back at the Bates motel and get things ready for you guys!!

#1

Treasia Stepp said...

Have a blast and best wishes on winning the tournament. Good luck.

Daryl said...

Promises smomises ... and no you do not have a feeble mind ... you, like me, make vows in those moments when we're most exasperated ... which of course do not count .. not. at. all.

So go forth and whack them balls ... and enjoy it no matter how it ends ... and have a tall iced cold drink for me!

FORE!

:-Daryl

Anonymous said...

I do remember this little promise...remember keep your cool this time and good luck.

That Janie Girl said...

Have fun, chica! And throw that club once for me...

Anonymous said...

Snoots!
I do remember that little promise!
Go get 'em dear! I want photographic evidence of the eats too! Food porn rules!

brneyedgal967 said...

You had me at the tenderloins and booze part. Fuck golf.

Have fun!

Anonymous said...

Enjoy and best wishes :)

Meg said...

HOpe you had a blast SP, sounds like a lot of fun, someday, I am going to meet you!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh, to live your life for a day....

What do you say to someone playing in a tournament, "Break a club?" Well, whatever it is, have a great time doing it!

 

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