Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Thermostat Gestapo Strikes Again....

Since we have been having a wee little spell of colder temperatures, World War III over who controls the thermostats, has once again resumed. This makes me very cranky. When I get cranky, I'm not a very fun person to live with.


So, I would first like to present my side of the case. I am in full blown menopause. Day in and day out, I am tortured by the raging hormones in my body that cause extreme fluctuations in my body heat. In the summer I wear a swimsuit and pareo around the house, so that I can survive the damned heat. I'll be damned if I'm going to do the same during the winter months!


Unfortunately, my loving husband of thirty one years doesn't see things my way. What can I say? The man wears warm-up suits in 80 to 90 degree weather. You're welcome to do the math there.


When I found myself so sick last week, the war between us over the thermostat, hit a peak. All I can say is "Thank God we sleep in separate bedrooms". There I was, sick as could be, back in my bedroom, hanging out over the wastebasket, in all my misery. After Mr. Snoots went to bed I went to check the thermostat, which I set on 66 during the winter. Yes, that is why they make winter clothes. Right? It was still at my setting, so I went back to bed.


Before too long I began to sweat. I began to sweat a lot. I thought surely it must be the 350 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, so I cast the bed covers to the side. I waited. And waited. Still, I was dying from the heat and decided it must be a particularly unusual hot flash and decided to roll with it. After thirty minutes of rolling with it had passed I started panicking, thinking this had to be the worst hot flash I've ever experienced.


Finally, I got up and went down the hall to check the thermostat. WHAT?!? It was set on 70 degrees, which might be nice under air conditioning, but it is living Hell under the heater. The Thermostat Gestapo had struck again! I mean, I was preparing to slice my wrists open, I was so miserable.



Rather than launch an all-out WWIII, I had a scathingly brilliant idea. I scurried along to the kitchen where I merrily grabbed the kitchen stool and a roll of duct tape. I went back to the bedroom and did my best to cover my heater vent with duct tape, with great success, I might add.


I then returned the kitchen stool and the duct tape to the kitchen (you know, so I can find them again...) and on my way back down the hall to my bedroom, I turned the thermostat up to 75 degrees just for pure damn meanness. Hey - that's what I live with in the summertime.


I closed my door and in my lovely, cool room, I fell fast asleep and lived happily ever after. The moral to this story? I'd say that would be "Don't mess with a menopausal woman if you value comfort... or anything else."



Also, thanks to Jeri over at In The Gutter. I wasted the entire afternoon yesterday making this video through Office Max. Get your own Elf Yourself Video HERE.
video

20 comments:

Mz. Nesbit said...

geez. Mr. Snooty sounds like a 'Hot' Nazi. LOL.
I think our husbands have something in common: dick-i-ness!! LMAO
i love the elf video btw. i did one last year and i'm gonna have to do one this year too! sooooo funny!

Treasia said...

Snooty you are a woman after my own heart. ROTFLMAO!! I love what you did. Now tell me, did he ever even notice? What did he say? That's just too good.

I usually win the thermostat war. However I place so many blankets on Truckers side of the bed he cannot move. LOL.

Cute little video too.

Anonymous said...

Not looking forward to menopause, at all. aren't there some herbal remedies you can take to set off the flashes, how about even hormonal replacement therapy. I heard good and bad about that though.

Snooty Primadona said...

I take Estroven which actually works until he turns the heat up.

scargosun said...

You know they make these magnetic vent covers for stuff like this? They work great! You can get them at HD or Lowes.

scargosun said...

You know they make these magnetic vent covers for stuff like this? They work great! You can get them at HD or Lowes.

brneyedgal967 said...

I have the floor vents in our bedroom stuffed with towels - AND we put a window unit air conditioner in and that baby is set on 67ยบ every day of the year. I'm not menopausal yet, but I love - love sleeping in a cold room, all bundled up under covers.

You can get those little air conditioners for about $100. Yeah, they're ugly - but they'll make your room COLD. And how many people see your bedroom, really.

LMAO at the elf video... that is sooooo hilarious!! Has Mr. Snooty seen that - classic!

Snooty Primadona said...

I bought those vent covers. Unfortunately, they fail to tell you that they don't work when there is like 50 years of paint on the vent, lol.

Blarney said...

I am just absolutely rolling on the floor ina a fit of laughter over your post! I'm visiting from J'Ollie and hooked ~ just.like.that. I am soooo following you.
Pre-meni here and starting to get those night sweats. So far I can't convince my Dr I am pre-meni so the best I got was Lunesta to help me sleep better. Grrr!

Snooty Primadona said...

Hi Blarney. Thanks for stopping by. You know, I was in full blown menopause for like two years before my doctor would admit I was. He kept wanting to give me medications that made me have periods again. What? Why the hell would I want that?

Flea said...

I love the elf video. Yours and Jeri's. The expressions on the faces are priceless!

Mental P Mama said...

Oh. My. God. I have mine set on 65 and we live in Connecticut! I am very proud of your resourcefulness;)

BJ Roan said...

Oh my, what an attractive addition to your decor! I think you may have started a trend. And might I add, you certainly are limber for a maturt woman! I think that was an afternoon well spent.

I have left you 3, not 1, but 3 awards over on Rubbish. Hope you like them. BJ The Maturt.

Snooty Primadona said...

Omigosh! I'll be right there! I've been packing for the trip all day.

BJ Roan said...

I'm not traveling this weekend, but I'm going to Dallas in 9 days! I can't wait. I need a Texas fix! Or is that just really good Mexican food fix? Either way, I can hardly contain my excitement. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

Snooty Primadona said...

It's definitely a TexMex Fix. My daughter has them all the time and will get her fill while in Austin. Have a great time in Big D.

noble pig said...

I want to know what happened when he found it all ducktaped! OMG that is so funny.

Snooty Primadona said...

"Hrmmph!" That was about it. He never did mention the heat, lol. However, I see that he already has the heat turned up to 68 on that side of the house. Thank God I taped that vent or there really might be hell WWIII.

;-)

Snooty Primadona said...

Shhhh! Did I mention that I close his bedroom vent off in the summer? I know. I am Evil.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Did you know that there are cooling vests and neck thingies to combat the perimenopausal sweats? A couple of FEMALE entrepreneurs thought them up.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

 

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