Saturday, December 20, 2008

Snooty Shifts Into OCD Marathon Cleaner Mode... And The Weekly Maid Runs For Her Life

I don't know if any of you remember, but I told you before that I was once Lucille Ball's housekeeper when I still lived in Aspen. She loved me because I was the absolute best. Did I mention it helps to have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? Well, it does. Apparently, I've had this disorder for most of my life. It makes some people crazy, but I must have certain things a particular way, which makes me fairly difficult to work for, I suppose. I have to make my own bed, top to bottom. You know. Because no one else can do it right. I have to cut my own hair, because no one else can do it right (even though 2 out of 5 times I cut it, it looks like holy crap, but I wouldn't dream of letting that deter me).


For instance... In my spice cabinet, all of the labels must face outward. Yes, I know. It's crazy. I used to always alphabetize my record albums too and went nuts if someone got them out of order. Other things I require aren't so sensible. All the glasses have to be placed in a certain pattern, which makes them look nicer. The coffee cups all have the handles turned outward so you can grab one by the handle. I like all the towels *just so*, in the cabinets and on the rack. In my closet, all of my clothes face the same direction, with pants in one section, skirts, jackets & tops in other sections. I used to redo friends closets just for the Hell of it. The list goes on....

Need I continue? I'm fairly certain you're seeing my point, even though I've never been diagnosed with OCD. I've shared many common signs and symptoms since I was a child. No need to pay for what I'm already aware of.


Which makes it all the more difficult to believe I let my office/den get to the point that it was the equivalent of a shopping cart lady or a bag lady. I'm serious. Some kind of crazy, hoarding pack rat. Once you let that shit creep up on you, I swear it's downhill after that. In my den I have my desk area, a long sofa, two club chairs, a cocktail table and a lamp table. No one has been able to enter my office/den in approximately 6 years because... well... they couldn't. This room was almost totally filled with treasures and junk alike. Like I've told you before, no one was ever allowed in here. Not because of privacy reasons. No. It was because this room and its condition... which embarrassed me to no end. It was almost like I was trying to hide an addiction or something even more sinister. I think there is also a wet bar that we haven't seen for quite a few years.


Today, I spent the ENTIRE DAY cleaning out my den/office. Make that an even 8 hours to transform the room from a total Black Hole, back into the den/office that it once was. I did it so that while the kids are home for Christmas, we can gather in the den to watch movies or chat, or both. I am totally dog-tired, but it feels so good to have this accomplished. At Thanksgiving, I told both children I was going to do this and they actually had the gall to laugh at me, saying "Yeah, right Mom! We haven't even SEEN that room since high school".


Well... Guess what, you nay saying children of mine? IT'S DONE! However, it's still mine, so ask before you enter. And, if you dare to leave any messes, I will have to extract your fingernails one at a time, with pliers. Any Questions? Got it? Good.


So, my maid that regularly comes on Wednesday had to come today instead. When she witnessed me in full-blown Marathon Cleaner Mode I thought she was going to implode. Seriously. She spent the morning just trying to avoid me. I suppose it may seem a bit overwhelming when viewing for the first time. Apparently. When she left after finishing her work, I swear she was practically running. Guess I won't be starting and operating that Maid Service anytime soon....

15 comments:

Keeper Of All Things said...

Maid??????
Maid!!!!!!
I hate you.
JK
LOL

The Incredible Woody said...

You mean other people don't do stuff like that. Sounds pretty normal to me!

Glad you can see your den again;-)

brneyedgal967 said...

Ummm... OCD, really? My clothes hang in categories, facing the same way and I used to color coordinate them - oh, it's also long sleeve or short sleeve sections. Coffee cups with handles out, definitely. Toilet paper coming over the top. Pillow cases with ends out. Spices facing label out. Soup cans facing label out. But - that's only when I give a damn - sometimes it's all askew until I get ratshit crazy and organize.

The den looks FABULOUS!!! Way to go! I know how hard that it to tackle a project that seems so overwhelming AND how great it feels to have done it! I love the bookcase along the back wall. I hope you sat in one of those chairs, sipped a cocktail and admired your work. :-)

asthmagirl said...

I only get OCD about food... Mostly christmas cookies and holiday meals. My office, spice rack and closet are beyond disorganized. I could never imagine having a maid.

Oh all right! Maybe just to vaccum?

Mental P Mama said...

Will you be coming to the Northeast any time soon?

Snooty Primadona said...

Tammy: See? It just confirms my belief that we really are sisters of another mother.

AG & MPM: I'm currently accepting invitations, lol.

Hey, the maid only does the stuff that hurts my back. However, after yesterday, my back is aching...

LoneWolf said...

Wow! You managed to stick with it. My problem is when I get into that mode I get about half way through and give up. Then I start piling on top of the half finished cleanup!

I do understand the desire to have things organized but I found that if you live with it long enough you get numb to it -- except in the kitchen 8=)

Snooty Primadona said...

LW: Guilt had a lot to do with it. I didn't want my kids to think I'd been sitting around eating Bon Bons after they left home...

noble pig said...

Oh I have a room like that. Hubby thinks I have a serious problem, he doesn't get why it has to be like that. I don't know either but I need a place to dump stuff...it's my room...stay out!

Janie said...

I bet your house is sparkling now.

Hurry.

come to my house before your kids get home.

I need help.

Snooty Primadona said...

Janie: Too late. The daughter flew in from L.A. last night with a broken ankle from a couple of weeks ago. I'm taking her to the doctor on Tuesday to get a cast. Just when you think everything is going along just fine...

BJ Roan said...

Well the room looks fantastic. Very inviting. makes me want to curl up in one of those chairs with a good book! Success!

Blarney said...

Ummm ... my closet is organized by color. Pants always first in the color category then t's, long sleeve shirts, summer/fall sweaters and finally winter sweaters and dresses. I have a more serious case of OCD because the books under your tables were making me itch to face them and make sure they were categorized by subject.
Mr Blarney and I no longer buy gifts for each other at Christmas ... we would be divorced by now. ;)

Snooty Primadona said...

Blarney: OK, I think I like that idea, lol. Might help in saving us an argument or two. Heh heh

Heather said...

Golf & blogging have gotten in the way of my OCD as far as cleaning goes. Although, I can't kick the ironing addiction.

I had grand plans for cleaning closets before the holidays. I think this is a better January activity. I'll shoot for V'day instead!

 

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