Friday, February 6, 2009

The Jury's Still Out...

I informed my Gastroenterologist ahead of time that I'm claustrophobic and that I have a very low threshold for pain. I even told him twice so that he would understand the brevity of my situation. He understood perfectly and made certain that I had enough sedation to totally knock my lights out. I made certain that he understood that the last time I didn't have enough sedation (during a Gingivectomy)... I grabbed the Periodontists family jewels. His assistants practically had to remove my arm to release my death grip. Embarrassingly enough, they laugh about that to this day. I'm still not laughing and neither was Dr. Patel. He made sure I was heavily sedated. Dear Man.

So... he says he removed *a number* of polyps and also took a tissue sample. I won't find out about the tissue sample until Monday, if not later. Here's The Thing. When I was 34 I was diagnosed with stomach cancer after my G.P. sent me for an upper G.I. I had been throwing up for months & months, so he scheduled me for the Upper G.I. After it was done, I went back to his office and he told me that I had stomach cancer and to get my life in order. My son was 3 years old and my daughter had just turned one.

I called Mr. Snoots from the doctor's office and told him what the doctor had said. He said "Bull Shit!" and called a childhood friend who had returned here to practice internal medicine and I was waiting in his office an hour later. I was shaking and scared, on the verge of completely freaking out as he ushered me into his office. He then proceeded to tell me that there has never been anyone as young as I was, diagnosed with stomach cancer. So, he gave me some heavy drugs, made an appointment for me at the hospital the next day, for a laperoscopy (I think that's what it was called). They started me with an I.V. of Valium and after that I don't remember a thing. As it turned out, I did not, in fact, have stomach cancer. I had huge honking stomach ulcers the size of one's fist, for which I remain on medicine, to this day. Oh Yeah! Can you just see what a relaxed mommy and wife I was now? Uh-Huh.

So, I was just sure that something horrible was going to be found in the colonoscopy... like I really did have stomach cancer after all. However, that being said, I believe that only the good die young. If that's really true, then I guess I'm good to go. I guess I'll find out for sure on Monday. I haven't exactly taken great care of myself over the years, and I've certainly had my fun when I wanted to, so I guess I deserve whatever comes my way. I'm hoping that I've redeemed myself along the way enough to come out of this deal clean. Only time will tell now.

I hate, hate, hate playing the *waiting game*, but clearly, I have no choice. If you feel like tossing a few prayers my direction, it would be greatly appreciated. I'll post again after I hear about the tissue sample results. Until then, my mind is rather preoccupied.

Are we having fun yet?


The Incredible Woody said...

Oh, to have to wait on those results - I can't imagine the thoughts running through your head. I am sending prayers, good vibes, and a few Hail Marys your way!

I'll tell you what - I am really, REALLY good at worrying so why don't you just let me worry for you? K?

But really, where DID you find that picture of me from last summer?? Woo-hoo the fourth of July was a REALLY good time!!

Staci said...

My prayers are right there with you.

TSannie said...

Well, I guess I'm good to go as well. As far as the waiting game, just knock me out, please!

That said, I KNOW you're getting a clean bill and that's that! Good thoughts, hugs and prayers comin' atcha!

BJ Roan said...

I don't think I would be very good at this kind of waiting game either. I'll keep you in my prayers, and stop by church to light a candle later. BJ

Cathy M said...

I'm praying for you also. The waiting is the worst. My feeling is that they would put a rush on it if it looked really suspicious. I'm an optimist.

Mental P Mama said...

Thank goodness you went ahead and had it done! Whatever it is, you can overcome it. That's what I told myself yesterday, too. After a breast biopsy. We can sit and wring our hands together through cyberspace this weekend. I am thinking of you.

Heather said...

Prayers and good karma coming right up. You deserve them and I know in my heart you are fine.
I'm horribly impatient and waste way too many hours of my life worrying. I think that's what I like about golf. It forces me to forget about it all for a while and focus on the game. It's such an escape for me. SO, is it nice? Can you go play a round? At least it would take up a few hours. Hang in there!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

Aahh..the waiting game, I hate playing that game. I will be praying with you, for you.

On a lighter note, how funny, grabbing the Periodontists family jewels. Does he often turn his back to you?

You'll be in my thoughts. Keep us posted.

Treasia said...

Well the only good thing (if there is one) is that by playing the waiting game, we all have time to say more prayers for you. You are in my prayers and thoughts Mrs. Snooty.

numberonesistah said...

Whoa...nothing worse than the waiting game. I think some major ingestion of alcohol is in order this weekend. If you aren't up to it, then I'll do it in your honor! ;o)

I can see it now..a toast in best wishes of Snooty's backside!

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Prayers for you!

Living on the Spit said...

I will definitely be praying for you.

Whatever the answer is, we will go through this experience all together! You are never alone.

Blarney said...

Hi Dear ~ sending good wishes your way. Thank you for the award. When I get off my lazy butt I'll do something about them but right now I'm too busy getting out of the house before I am divorced.

Anonymous said...

I am confident you're okay. Only because TOG (and he would die if he knew I was disclosing) has to have these procedures every two years, and has since he was 35. He is a polyp farm. He has had more growths removed and tissue samples taken. I have toted him to and from these bowel invasions for what seems like ever! And yes, he has uclers too and all sorts of happy digestive stuff. So I tend to think that you'll be okay!
But I'm still going to worry until I get the word from you. Cuz that's what friends do!


Far From Perfect said...

I agree with asthmagirl- I'm sending postive wave lengths your way!!!

The waiting game is hopefully the worst thing you & your family has to go through!

My husband is a pathologist and I know he is super sensitive to having people wait for results.

Your in my prayers.QP

Buddha's Place said...

Snooty I had no idea what you were going through. I said a prayer and I even made Buddha hold up his little paws and pray
I'm going to say that your going to be fine. Thats it. End of discussion.
The mammagram people like to make me wait and wait and wait until I lose my mind and call. Then it's oh yeah your test were fine...

I know that isn't you in the picture, right? Tell me it's not my classy little Snoots! Whoever it is had waaay too much fun.

Snooty Primadona said...

woody: thanks for making me laugh!

staci: Thanks so much!

Annie: I feel pretty confident, really. Just always afraid of the past coming back to haunt me.

BJ & Cathy: Thank you! I need all the help I can get.

MPM: I didn't know. Apparently you don't spill your guts like I do. Hope it comes out clean as a whistle.

Thanks Heather ~ Me Too. I don't have any patience left any more. It's all been used up.

PP & Treasia: Thanks girlfriends!

#1sistah: Hehehehe... Thanks! I really appreciate your participation, lol.

Jollie & Marlene: Thanks to you both. With all this prayin' going on something's bound to be good.

Blarney: Moving is worse than many traumas I can think of. Gah! I wouldn't even be on the computer if I was moving. Oh who am I kidding? Yes, I would too.

Diane: Thanks! Sometimes it does help to tell worse tales. I'm soooo sorry TOG has to go through that horror so often. The only reason the doc took a tissue sample was as a precaution. I like precautions at 56.

QP: It's okay. I can hound them when they don't call. It'll give something to do.

Buddha's Mom: The mere idea that anyone thinks I could have ever looked that good, cheers me up, lol. In my wildest dreams...

Vince Spence said...


With your permission, I will include you in my prayers. I highly recommend it. God always listens when I pray for great people like you. He also answers.

I just wish he'd pay more attention to my prayers so I wouldn't have play the damn lottery every day...

I remember that picnic bench. I was asleep underneath and the dog peed on me.

brneyedgal967 said...

Just so you know, I put in a personal request to GOD that it can not be your time to go at least not for the next 20 years because we haven't raised hell yet. HE understood.

Forget the fact that I do not have a direct line to GOD and if I did, he would've changed his number on me.

You'll be fine. Yes, only the good die young - so I think you're safe there. LOL But, let us know as soon as you know!

brneyedgal967 said...

Grabbing the mans' family jewels... priceless. You should tell that to any Dr. or anesthesiologist before you're under sedation to make sure they get it right... LOL.


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