A Sunday Afternoon Trip To The Emergency Room...

Yes, I was afforded a little magic carpet ride to the local emergency room on Sunday afternoon. It wasn't fun by any means but it was most certainly necessary, in my own mind. I'd felt bad on Saturday for sure. On Friday night I went to bed at 11:00 PM and ended up sleeping until 3:00 PM Saturday afternoon. Not my normal modus operatus. I felt a bit nauseated all day but just blew it off thinking it was my normal sinus drainage into my stomach making me sick. Au contraire.

When I awoke on Sunday I felt even worse. Very nauseated. No energy. Extremely agitated about anything & everything, none of which is my normal. My head was killing me, I was nauseated, my mouth was dry, I was having difficulty breathing, my eyes appeared jaundiced (to me), my blood pressure was way high for me, and I felt light-headed. I got scared. Petrified, really. I waited all day before saying anything to Mr. Snoots because I didn't want him to have to miss his Sunday nap.

However, as it turned out, I did not have anything wrong with my heart. I have a UTI (bladder infection) (AGAIN) and along with the Neuropathy symptoms, I suppose I simply confused it with all of the signals I'm receiving from my body. Who knew it could become so difficult to read the signs your body sends you? I apparently also was experiencing some anxiety, thus the chest pains. Once they gave me something I'd never heard of for anxiety, I began to calm down and feel better. By 10:00 PM they finally let me go home with my tail tucked between my legs, shamed that I'd wasted their time.

Anxiety is a part of my daily life. I've been trying to get this house market ready for 3 years now and it's just not happening, which causes me a lot of stress. I'm trying desperately to keep a smile on my face throughout all of this but I keep losing that smile, especially when it's taking a freaking year to paint the outside of our mansion (so not a mansion). The painter was supposed to show up today but I haven't seen him. Honestly, I can't take  this stress much longer. It doesn't take this long to paint a house in the real world... only in my weird alter world. Why in the Hell would this all be stressing me out? I can't imagine.

So, I've reached the ultimate conclusion that it is imperative that we become familiar with our bodies & the signals they are trying to send us. The better we get at reading them, the longer we might be able to survive on this crazy planet called Earth. I've also come to the realization that I'm going to die in this house, whether I like it or not. I'm stuck here, with no way out and it gives me an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. We sit around this house, week after week, with nothing happening and I can't take it any more. I keep trying to make the little improvements that I can but they only seem to be band-aids in the big scheme of things.

On another note, I'd like to mention that most women almost never have the same symptoms of  heart attack as men do, therefore much more difficult to diagnose when necessary, so we must all be on the lookout at all times. We must always be our own advocates and understand what our bodies are trying to tell us, which isn't always easy. Listen to the rhythms of your body and pay close attention to those rhythms. They are truly trying to tell us about ourselves and we need to learn to listen. If we don't then we're going to spend a lot of wasted time in the emergency room...