Monday, December 15, 2008

Why Boys Need Parents.... A Side-Track Edition Of Maturt Mondays

A friend sent me this in an email and it totally cracked me up!
This is for those mother's of boys, sisters of boys, and boys that have grown older. And anyone else who needs a laugh. Why boys need parents...

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin ! , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


That Janie Girl said...

This is great and just what I needed on a Maturt Monday!

Girl. You're up early!

I Am Woody said...

My husband and his brother did the knife in the socket thing. Except it was a key - they were 'driving'! Maybe that's what's wrong with them!

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness I had all girls!

Mental P Mama said...

Maturt and Male are oxymorons. Always have been, and always will be;)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I am so learning this shit about my son.


scargosun said...

I am a girl but I might try to replicate the head on the sand pic. That was truly awesome.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Yep, it's all true!

Flea said...

I love the photos! And I'm so glad I have one girl for my two boys. :)

Snooty Primadona said...

Okay, I've finally gotten out to do my Christmas shopping... ALL DAY LONG. The highlight of my day was having lunch with Janie of Sounding Forth... It went downhill after that.

I went into one shop and I swear there were like three people who had red noses & looked like they felt like crap. I reached into my purse for my little bottle of "Early Defense* hand sanitizer and it wasn't there. I had left it in my golf bag. Aaaaargh! After that, I was afraid to touch anything.

Anonymous said...

I've gotten this email and laughed hysterically.

Connie said...

I've seen this many times ... I still laugh EVERY time!

Anonymous said...

25. is funny because when I read number 8 I was thinking... "Hmm...I should make sure that isnt dangerous and try it"

No Sacrifice Bags said...

I am just catching up with your blog. You are too funny! You should write a book!



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