Ever Had A Snowball Fight With Yourself? It's Kinda fun!

You all knew I couldn't quit blogging, right? Mr. Snoots told me I can't quit. He said we've not had any fights since I started blogging because I'm venting here instead of to him. Okay. I'll buy that. I always have an enormous amount of venting to do, which makes him want to *fix* everything, which isn't what I want. I just need someone to listen to me. I hope you don't mind me doing just that... Now, to the day's story.

Yes, we have snow. LOTS of snow. Last night the electricity went off like 11 or 12 times, so I finally just turned everything off, went to bed, and read my book on Kindle. In fact, we have so much snow that 2 large branches broke off of two different trees (yes, the same two Texas Laurels as before) in the backyard today and flattened out my Oleanders that had grown to 6 or 7 feet this summer. Argh!

So, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, right? Armed with my trusty  broom, I decided to go outside and start knocking some snow off and it was really heavy, wet snow (I wouldn't want to ski in it for sure). I went for the Oleanders first because they just looked so pathetic. Thirty minutes later, they had risen from the ground a few feet. Then, I moved on to the Eleagnus bushes. Done. Lastly, I decided I'd better rid those trees that lost branches of their heavy snow. Then it happened. BAM! My first swat at the tree branches brought it all down on top of my hat-less head, as if I'd just been in a huge snowball fight. I assure you that it wasn't near as fun as the real thing but it made me laugh because I thought, "I'm having a snowball fight with myself." 

Then, after an hour of that, I gave up trying to save anything else. When I came inside, I started putting away all the Christmas containers that hold the decorations and when I went into son's old room to put one large container under his bathroom sink, I found a very bad leak under the sink, that had already completely soaked the carpet and the wood of the cabinet under the sink. So, I had to call my favorite plumbers. Yay!


I'd had a lot of the things from SD's room in there until I can figure out what to do with them... Like her curtains I still haven't hung and my entire bag of scrap-booking *stuff*, among other things. Oh. Joy. To. The. World. We have another problem. *Sigh*

Luckily, the plumber came right away and fixed things, saying that he'd never seen a leak like that one. How special is that, right? Then, I realized that we hear those words from almost every worker that's ever been here, which made me feel even more special. Anyway, a lot of stuff got ruined. Oh. Well. Old houses are fun that way.


So, our son is moving back to Austin this week (to finish school) and wanted me to drive the U-Haul down for he and his girlfriend, while they each drive their cars. Deja Vu. I recall doing that for SD when she and MC moved out to L.A. (lala land) and it was a total nightmare. Unfortunately he's leaving the same day that I have a doctor appointment for my colonoscopy in the morning and later in the day, an appointment for my follow-up on the bone grafts for my teeth implants, so I can't do it and Mr. Snooty just can't (for numerous reasons). Frankly, it's a ridiculous time to be doing ANY of this but we've met our high insurance deductible & need to cram in as many (health related) procedures as we can, right?


However, the good news is that I've finished decorating for Christmas, inside and outside, so I'm a happy camper, for now. Well, except for all the other things I have to take care of, like putting the crystal prisms on the tree, dealing with life in general, like getting the Christmas cards addressed and mailed, getting the Christmas bags ready for friends and family, and buying more paint for the painter (ugh), among other things.


Tonight the weather is supposed to get worse, which means colder with more snow. It seems like it was 100+ degrees like last week. It's difficult to be believe that this is West Texas. Gah.

Don't miss this video. The snowflakes were absolutely gargantuan, for hours. I apologize for the quality of the video. It was so bright outside, which didn't come across.......

Beyond The Age Of Fifty There Should Never Be Any Arms Length Photographs... Unless They Can Be Airbrushed

This morning I rose to find it actually did snow, which makes me wish I was 10 years old again so I could go outside and build a snowman... Anyway, I wrote this post last night & was too tired to finish it


I was desperately trying to work on reshaping my Christmas tree after it being ravaged by Mr. Snoots, being yanked here and shoved there, then left to get dusty in our rented storage unit. Let me just say that it took a heavy beating last year. I might possibly never get it to look right again but being slightly OCD, I probably will. That, or I'll cough up the cash-ola to buy a new one every 3-4 years. It would undoubtedly save a lot of time and trouble every 3-4 years at least.


Anyhoo, I couldn't see well enough to tell what I was doing and then I had a scathingly brilliant idea. I pulled out my headlight and immediately donned it. Voila! Problem solved. However, the people driving around looking at lights in our neighborhood surely thought I was some sort of odd Christmas light bobbing up and down as I worked the tree. I think they even drove by several times. Seriously. I have no drapes in the living room. Only the faux drapes we had put in temporarily when we first moved in here. Uh-huh. Only 25 short years ago.


So I went into a room with a mirror to take a picture of something other than the top of my head or half my face. I was horrified. Truly. With no makeup on, it was especially frightening. I now see my grandmother staring me in the face with a ridiculous headlight on. It's exactly the sort of thing she would have done at this age and yes, I look very much like her. Scary stuff indeed.


Remember how they always used to film Doris Day and Loretta Young with cheesecloth or something over the lens? It softened their faces since they were beginning to age. That's how I want to be photographed from now on and if I can, get a hologram of myself that always looks great. Now, that would be something useful. Trips to Europe? $15,789.00. A hologram? Priceless....


Hey - A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do...



And let me just say that it's colder than a witch's you-know-what tonight. I've already gone through the firewood I brought in last night and I'm dreading having to walk outside three steps to get some more. (I know. My problems are enormous, aren't they?) Tonight it's supposed to drop down to around 21 degrees with a wind chill of 8 degrees. I have all the outdoor plants bundled up for winter so we'll see how it goes, I suppose. The inside plants are already starting to give me dirty looks and whisper about what a bad provider I am. I've been... busy.



They are still predicting snow, but so far I haven't seen so much as a flake (well, not a snowflake anyway). Widiots. The weather idiots. They say 1/2" to 1" by morning but it's now 11:30 PM and as usual, nothing. Geeze. I'd love to have a job like that.

Here it is people.... Are you ready? Our snow has arrived. Maybe those guys got it right for once. After four days of predicting it every day.

I'm Starting A New Christmas Tradition...

Now that the craziness of the holidays is mostly over, I realize that I'm not yet ready to put away the Christmas decorations. I mean, I feel like I just finished putting them up, right? I did just finish getting them up. In my quest to keep them up longer, I'm instigating the tradition of Twelfth Night. This way, I can stretch out Christmas for another week. Eureka! I don't know why I haven't ever thought of this before.

Considering the fact that our tree stayed in the living room for 3 years, I'd say there's no harm in pretending that we celebrate Christmas until Twelfth Night, which is the Fifth of January. If anyone dares to inquire as to why our tree is still up, I will flash them a huge smile and make my case for Twelfth Night.

Normally, we only use the good china, crystal, and silver on Christmas Eve, but I'm thinking it would be fun to use it all again before it gets put away for another year. What good is it to have these things if you never use them?

We used to have a huge Christmas party every year, which I loved doing, but we stopped having it the year Mr. Snooty's parents both died from cancer. Later, I started having a New Year's Eve party every year but the attendance was never very good so we stopped having that as well. Now, I usually go outside at Midnight and do my big sparklers and set off a few small fireworks. All. By. Myself. It sounds kind of crazy, doesn't it?

So, this year I think I'll have a dinner party the Saturday after New Year's, with just a few close couple friends. I'll make an elegant dinner with some kind of delectable dessert, as we all reminisce about the passing year and speculate about the year to come. I'm thinking we'll have a Prime Rib Roast, grilled tomatoes, salad, garlic roasted potatoes with rosemary, and garlic bread. For dessert I think I'll make Raspberry Neapolitans, which are to die for. This sounds like a much better idea than going out New Year's Eve and feeling like warmed over Hell the next day. We're all getting too old to do much more of that craziness.

Oh Dear! Am I actually beginning to sound like the old fart I'm becoming? Say it ain't so, Joe. Say it ain't so!

What's Wrong With This Picture? A Christmas Story...

Normally, I would probably lose my temper patience over this, but it's really so funny that I keep breaking into unbridled laughter every time I pass by the living room and see the tree. I just have to crack up.


This was is our Christmas Tree before Mr. Snooty had to take it down last year.







This is our Christmas Tree after Mr. Snooty got into the holiday spirit this year. Bless his heart, he just gets so excited over Christmas!



I don't want to go into the whole faded middle-of-the-tree thing. For now.





He even commented on how great the tree looked when I was done decorating it. Yes, I must admit this is really one of my best trees ever. Hellooooooo. Maybe it's just me. But, sometimes I really do feel like Ralphie's Mom.







This is what our Christmas Tree looked like for three years before Mr. Snooty (The *Handyman*) decided to manhandle take control of the tree situation, getting it out of the house, as I requested. I guess I should have requested Alive... not Dead.




This is how the Christmas Tree looks after Mr. Snooty (The *Handyman*) left the scene of the crime. Whew! I think we were lucky that the carnage wasn't worse. Our old tree was truly pathetic after years of *ahem* tender loving rip-it-through-the-door-at-all-costs-devil-may-care kind of TLC. We have a method to taking care of our things, but I won't delve into that now.

Geeze Loueeze! Do I see a couple of rows of lights out? Hmmmm...




Tonight when he came home he said "You be sure and let me know if I can help with the outside decorations". Sure thing, Dear. I can hardly wait to see what innovative ideas you have for the outside this year.... Oh, the possibilities are simply mind boggling.

But, in all fairness... he might just need to get his glasses tweaked.

This is the same man who once demanded that I install a clothes hook by his side of the bed so he could hang his robe there and wouldn't have to walk all the way over to the closet. I rest my case. Lucky for him that he sleeps in my great-grandmother's four poster bed. You know. So that he can just hang his clothes on the posters. Oh. Yeah. Baby. He's a keeper all right.

It's How Many Days Until Christmas?

Today, I concluded I could no longer be sick because the only thing I've done for Christmas so far is haphazardly hang our wreath on the front door. That's not quite going to cut it, as they say. Good Lord Rosemary! There are only 15 days left. So, I wiped the sleepy from my eyes, removed the near permanently lodged wads of tissues from my nasal passages, and forced myself to get dressed. When I saw my reflection in the mirror I decided it was best to avoid all mirrors for the remainder of the day. No problem! I can be in denial with the best of them.

This is how our tree looked last year.






One in the dark and one in the light.

Mr. Snoots brought the tree in from the car over the weekend, where it has been in storage since last Christmas. Yes, I said car. The old Suburban we no longer drive, but like to keep for when the kids are home those few days every year. Really, the back of the suburban was the ideal spot for it, after the tree spent 3 years in the living room, prior to that.

For the first three years, Mr. Snoots couldn't figure out how to get it apart after studying it for a few minutes. People even quit teasing us about it after a couple of years. This last year, he studied it for a good fifteen minutes and finally realized how easy it was. I would've tried, but the thing is just too heavy, even in parts. So, it never did make it out to our storage unit, which actually made it easier. That way, we didn't have to drive halfway to the country club to retrieve it. Mr. Snooty doesn't like to spend more than, say, five minutes on decorating, so this was workable for him. I usually go along with it.

Since the tree comes apart into three pieces, it was a real race to see if Mr. Snooty could get all the parts inside and assembled before that five minutes expired. He did just squeeze in under the wire, but in his hurry to assemble said tree, he put it together crooked. So, crooked it's going to stay. The five minutes is up. History. So, we'll have a tree that looks lop-sided has character this year.



This was as far as I got for today. I attempted to engage Mr. Snooty to give the tree another go, but he only lasted three minutes before saying "Oh, it'll be just fine that way. Crooked. Right? Right." Of course, Dear Man, run along now.



Yes, and I love to eat Pork & Beans from a can. Not. It truly is the Mars/Venus thing, I swear.


When he left for bed after my kiss goodnight, he paused at the door and said "I really love Christmas, don't you?". Uh-Huh. You betcha! All. Five. Minutes. Of. It....