Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I Just Discovered I Have Family That Claims Me... Who Knew?

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from someone who had seen a post I'd made about my family on, like 8 years ago. I'd almost forgotten about it. This was the first contact I've ever received from that post.

As it turns out, my Great-Great-Grandmother's (who I was named after) family is having their 75th Anniversary Reunion in Oklahoma in June. The woman who contacted me informed me that her Great-Grandfather & my G-G-Grandmother had been siblings and sent me the information sheet on all of this. I remember going to a couple of reunions when I was growing up and can't remember ever having so much fun.

However strange it may seem, it is required that I bring my birth certificate with me. Why, you ask? Well, it all has to do with The Brown Recluse, which I just don't feel like going into now. It's just too complicated & I don't have the time now. Just know that she completely cut me out of the family and the geneology and the whole ball of wax. Because she is the evil twin of the devil himself. She is so mean and so evil and so vindictive that there is no one word in the universe that describes her. Okay, maybe there is ONE. But I refuse to use it.

Anyway, I wasn't aware of this *extraction from the family* until I was trying to find scholarship money for Snooty Daughter for college. I was always told that there was a well known Ivy League College that was founded by my family and that a free ride could be had by those in the family who were worthy in grade points. Although these scholarships were not offered to the women in the family back in my day, I figured my girl was a perfect candidate. She wanted very badly to go there.

Until I found out that we did not exist in the family info. My brother is listed just below my mother and that is it. Talk about a major blow to the soul. To the heart. To all that is sacred in this world. I wasn't able to breathe. The Brown Recluse had removed any and all traces of me or my immediate family's existence in relation to our family tree. She truly is a bitch from hell. She will never stop being The Brown Recluse. It's in her DNA, trust me. And I pity the very ground she walks on. Still, I must take my original birth certificate to prove that I am who I am. And I am. So, I am going with Mr. Snooty in tow.

Soooo... perhaps you can understand why I am so thrilled at having received this invitation from the family. I have every right to be there, dammit! Probably more than her. I had wanted to take my children there one year when they were still young, but The Brown Recluse thwarted that plan as well.

The Brown Recluse did many horrible & unforgiveable things to me growing up. I got over it and I forgave her. Until the incident she had with Snooty Daughter at age 5. She called & wanted to take the daughter to the Mall for an afternoon of shopping. Which, with my mother, means it's all about her. Snooty Daughter, being the strong individual that she has always been, of course didn't recognize this great oversight. SD was fixated on some toy or something when The Brown Recluse said it was time to go. Which meant it was time to go with no fucking around. I knew that routine. SD did not know the routine and refused to leave. Had a sort of temper tantrum, shall we say.

The Brown Recluse left her at the Mall completely by herself... at five years old.. TO TEACH HER A LESSON. What kind of psychotic person would think that was a good way to teach a child to mind? Oh, that's right. The Brown Recluse. The Mall security called me to come & get her because she gave them our phone number. I had at least taught her that. Thank God! I have not spoken to The Brown Recluse since that day.

For a couple of years she used to do things like call & hang up on me. Like I didn't know. Then, she resorted to sending me letters filled with hate for me which would send me to bed for a week and really tear up my insides. My guts were a total mess. Finally, Mr. Snooty figured her out and told her to fuck off & leave us alone. Sorry, but she did deserve it, and he stood up for me against her. He has been my hero ever since then. I would follow him to the ends of the Earth.

And believe me Dear Readers, when I say that what you've heard of The Brown Recluse doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the darkness of that woman.

She made the first part of my life a living hell until I realized that as an adult, I no longer wanted to live in her tangled web of lies and deceit. From that point on, I was in control of my life and knew that my own happiness was up to no one but me. Not her. Just me. I've been a happy camper ever since.

However, The Brown Recluse did provide me with a plethora of material for writing. Upon her death, I'd love to have her brain tested for abnormalities. That is not likely to happen, since I don't exist, lol. Fortunately, I have my blog as a wonderful venue to tell the world about her. Not that it would help to protect anyone against her. Because it won't.

At any rate, we made our plane reservations to Okie City tonight. I found a suitable hotel and have a rental car and I am so excited, I am beside myself. Mr. Snooty has agreed to accompany me, although I'm sure he'd rather not. He is the sweetest man on the face of this Earth.

And I'm going to go and see all of my long lost cousins. Please just say a prayer that The Brown Recluse won't be there. If that happens, I'll deal with her the same way I deal with pimples. Get rid of them or pretend they aren't there. She is not going to ruin this special reunion for me, but I might just spoil her's.



QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

You have and will rise above the brown recluses nastiness and the best revenge is to not acknowledge a person like that and act as if they have never been involved in your life. It will irritate the hell out of her, if she is there, to not react to her and act as if you have no idea who she is. You can borrow my squirt gun full of red dye if you want she'll never see it coming lmao..

Mental P Mama said...

Good grief. A very sick person, indeed.

Treasia said...

Snooty just remember something my mother has drilled into my head over the years. That is "Being nasty nice can kill without trying". Gotta love my mom. haha.

Krysta said...

and I thought my family was bad...

brneyedgal967 said...

First - you're coming to Okie City? I hope you have a spare moment so we can meet in person. And what's this, a hotel? You don't want to stay at my haunted house? What's wrong with you! LOL

Good for you for standing up to the Brown Recluse. Sounds like such a fitting name. If this just barely scratches the surface, you do have the makings for a tremendous novel and you should write it!! Leaving a 5 year old at a mall??? Wow. Glad you and hubby stood up to her and you've been able to live YOUR life without her toxic venom to poison it!

brneyedgal967 said...

Wait - as I read that, "I'm Not Ready To Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks was playing.

I imagine that song speaks to your soul, eh?

scargosun said...

I am SOOO glad you are getting to go to your reunion. Can I make a suggestion, make a copy of the Birth Certificate and make a tee shirt out of it. :) Wear it to a casual portion of the reunion. That way, you don't have to carry it around with you as you reconnect with long lost relatives. :)
My heart breaks a little each time I read what you went thru with her. It DOES make me appriciate my loved ones all the more.

Asthmagirl said...

Yup... some families really put the "fun" in dysfuctional.

Glad you're going... wear armor. Some spiders spit venum.

Mamahut said...

Snooty, I really believe we are kindred spirits. My brown recluse tore up her parent card 30 some-odd years ago. She was mad at me for something ?? beat me with a clothes hanger all over my body and then made me wear a dress to the circus that night. I like you, let her get to me and send me to bed for days at a time. Happy to say I have been recluse free for almost three years now. My hubby also squashed my recluse. Hope you have a blast in Okie.

Snooty Primadona said...

When I read all these comments, I honestly broke into tears. Where have you people been all my life? I can't believe I've found such a wonderful & caring group of bloggers/people. Talk about a support group!

Q: LMAO. I'm well versed in how to ignore The Brown Recluse.

MP: Yup. It just took me a while to figure it out. I was a kid.

Treasia: I always love those old sayings. They were coined for a reason.

Krysta: I hope my family makes you feel better about your's, lol.

Tammy: Yup, Okie City. We are flying in on Friday the 13th. Do you think that's a bad omen? LOL!

Scargosun: That is the funniest idea ever and I am going to do it! I think that will really be a hoot. Thanks for that!

asthmagirl: Oh yeah! The fun in dysfunctional. Cracked me up.

mamahut: I think we are kindred spirits for sure. My mom did the same thing to me, only with the belt buckle end of a belt. Then, made me wear a dress to school the next day so that everyone would know what a horrible child I was. I had stolen 25 cents in pennies out of her purse.

P said...

I am confused. Who is the brown recluse?

P said...

ok ok. Forget that last comment .. I'm embarrassed to say I had to reread it. Ok. I'm up on it now.
I'm sorry you have to deal with someone as awful as the Brown Recluse. That must have been painful to deal with. I'm so sorry, really.

your daughter said...

Somehow you ended up being the best madre ever :)

Snooty Primadona said...

I love you my dear daughter! You are one of the three best things that ever happened in my life.

Thanks P!!!

Daryl E said...

If she is there .. ignore her .. I think people like her thrive on reactions the provoke ... I wish I were going with you so I could spill something on her and watch her melt like the Wicked Witch of the West .... :Daryl

Anonymous said...

It seems someone else is on to the brown recluse or you wouldn't be invited. I hope you enjoy yourself and share the reunion story...


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