Thursday, May 22, 2008

Triple Digit Heat? Mexico can cure that....

So, there I was last night at 11:00 PM, on the patio still trying to repot plants in the cool 88 degree temperature. The temperature at 7:00 PM was still 103 degrees in the shade and by midnight it wasn't that much better, but there was a breeze. I just figured if I'm ever going to get out to the garden to plant those baby plants & seeds, I've got to get the patio plants done first. Since it's too hot during the day, it seems I'm forced to garden by the light of the moon. Which creeps me out, because I can't see if there are any bugs or spiders. You know, that can get on me & freak me out. Yes, I am a ninny. A Huge ninny. You truly do not want to be anywhere around me when I discover a bug or a spidey on me. I turn into a screaming, flailing woman and it's not a pretty sight.

It isn't even Summer yet and already we're having triple digit temperatures. This is not a good sign of things to come. The last time it was this hot in May, we had a helacious Summer. At one point I remember we had 24 straight days of triple digit temps. It was a miserable Summer that had me lying around the house like a beached whale, in my swimsuit. Every movement made in that kind of heat was slow & difficult. I didn't even have a garden that Summer and many of the shrubs & flowers that I'd planted, floundered in the heat.

Which is why I'm so not looking forward to this Summer. I'm thinking we might need to get out of town and go somewhere cool, but that probably won't happen any time soon. Still, I'm thinking a trip to San Miguel de Allende in the mountains of Guanajuato, Mexico, would be the ideal place to go this year. I have a long list of lovely places to stay and I've been looking at them longingly for many years.

Mr. Snooty doesn't want to go there because it isn't by the ocean. You know. The ocean he never goes in. Ever. He does go in the swimming pool but only for quick cooling off dips. Just like he is couch potato at home, on vacation he's usually a pool lounge potato as well (which I actually really like). He especially liked the resort that I booked for us last year on our 30th anniversary trip to Cancun. I did not want to be around hoardes of screaming rugrats, so I booked us at a hotel that was for adults only. We found out why it was adults only once we arrived.

One of the many hotel restaurants --------->

Our hotel was topless. Not the hotel really, but the women. Breasts were flopping and bouncing left & right everywhere we looked. The man thought he had died and acsended to the Pearly Gates of Heaven. As for myself... well, it took me a while to get used to it. I was totally grossed out at first because there were so many large 350 pound women laying around topless and honestly looking like beached whales. It was... well... overwhelming, to say the very least. But, after a couple of days I began getting used to it. Mr. Snooty, of course, wore his darkest sunglasses all day, which made it hard to tell if he was ogling anyone. He pretended to be asleep much of the time, but I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, you know. Men are such weak creatures. I know he was ogling. Jeeze, I was. It couldn't be helped. They were everywhere you looked.

I, naturally, never revealed any *boobage*, being the old lady that I am. Then, I met these two crazy ladies from Wales who were there on holiday, Andrea and Julie. These two ladies literally cracked me up and I had so much fun with them. After the first couple of days Andrea & Julie shed their bikini tops, letting it all hang out, shall we say. They are both my age and they loved it. They said they had never felt so liberated in their lives. Frankly, I was coming around to their way of thinking. Unfortunately, one must have a two piece suit if one plans to go topless. I had not owned a two-piece in many, many moons. Deciding it would look completely derelict to just pull down the top of my one-piece, I refrained from any boobage exposure. Honestly, I would have looked better than about 75% of the women we saw going topless.

However, I decided that I could wait until next trip. I've been tanning in the nude for six months now, very little at a time. I'm determined to have a good enough base tan on my personal boobage, to not wind up burned into a crispy critter. I also bought a two-piece swimsuit that is really like a one-piece, but the top is separate. So, I'm ready to do this! I am ready to liberate these two babies. Maybe. But then, there is always this little voice in the back of my mind that says someone might get a picture of me and it will wind up on YouTube or something equally as humiliating. I'll just wait and see if I can muster up the courage, the next time we go to Mexico. Who am I kidding? It'll never happen. Probably. Unless menopause sends me maniacally laughing and giggling over the edge. Who knows what I'll be capable of then?

Each night during our week in Cancun, we would leave our hotel and venture out for dinner, with reservations made prior to our outing. We didn't need to go out, because we were on the All-Inclusive plan and the food at the hotel was simply amazing. Yet, we wanted to see some more of Cancun, and we did. One restaurant was so incredibly wonderful, that we went back the next night for the exact same lobster dinner as the night before. The name of the restaurant is Lorenzillo's and they have the absolute most delicious lobster I've ever had. They serve it in numerous ways, but Mr. Snooty and I just had to have the grilled lobster again. We weren't disapponted. You can dine outside on their pier, which is very elegant, with the wind blowing softly in rythym to the crashing waves and it was a little slice of Pure Heaven.

This was a place we liked the looks of on Isla Mujeres. ------------>

Another place we had dinner was the oceanside restaurant at The Ritz-Carlton. Again, another amazing meal and service and views. We had a private dining room and leisurely enjoyed our meal with the sound of the ocean as our background music. Another slice of Pure Heaven.

Still, every night after dinner we went straight back to the hotel so that Mr. Snooty could go to bed, just like being at home. Thank gawd I met Andrea & Julie, because once we hooked up, I had something to do every night. Giggle with the girls from Wales. At the hotel bar. And Drink. And Giggle Some More. It was too much fun, really. I met all kinds of people from England and Canada and Australia and I had a blast every night after Mr. Snooty declared "Lights Out". What else could I do without a computer?

One day we went to Isla Mujeres and had the most divine lunch at Rolandi's. This was our view.

So, while I'm outside planting tomatoes & peppers, with salty sweat stinging my eyes, I shall be thinking about Mexico and how badly I'd prefer to be there, basquing in the sun and drinking Margaritas. I reeeeeeeally want to go back. And, the sooner, the better.


Pam said...

Go to San Miguel de Allende. It is fabulous...the weather is lovely-all those wonderful mountains, the town is gorgeous and so full of history, and they have some of the most delicious restaurants. On our last visit we went to one outside of town that is Italian. They make fresh pasta for every meal...each course is prepared fresh. It was a true experience. Of course, I can't remember the name of the place, but ask around town...I think it started with an "L"...big help, I know. Great steaks downtown at a restaurant that sounds like it should be in New Orleans...I am terrible with names, just remember great food. There was a fabulous Lebanese restaurant, but it was closed the last time we were there. Pack up Mr. Snooty and hie thee into Leon and arrange for a car to drive you to SMA. I don't think you'll regret it. Plus, there are lots of West Texans down there.

P said...

Hilarious! I can't imagine that I could ever do that.
Are you serious that it is already over 100 degrees where you are?
Everybody keeps telling me it's hot in Texas. I guess they mean it.

Philly said...

Well it's freeking freezing here in Philly,,burrrrr

As for going topless,,,good luck,,my boobs are way too saggy for that

Snooty Primadona said...

pam: You have no idea how long I've dreamed of going to San Miguel and studied it on the internet. I keep dreaming that some day I can go down there & attend the Instituto Allende for art classes. Stay perhaps a month or two or forever, lol. I've even had my studio apartment picked out for years. But then, I'm a big dreamer.

P: Yup, today was like a hair dryer on high hot with no large bodies of water in sight. Still is, as I speak. I need something else, lol.

Philly: Trust me when I say your's probably aren't as bad as you think. I'm serious. This place made me totally rethink how I see myself, lol. I decided I wasn't as bad as I thought. There were many saggier than me.

Janie said...

I wanna go to SMA, too.

Blogger road trip. Plane trip. Whaaaaatever.

Sounds like fun!!

Snooty Primadona said...

Janie: I need something to get me away from this hot wind. It's beginning to make wind tunnels in my head. Not a good thing, lol.

Mamahut said...

I love Isla Mujeres, hubby and I spent our honeymoon there. Loved it! I am with Janie, ROAD TRIP!

Treasia said...

Here I thought it was hot here in Arkansas already. I was wrong! Temps in the triples already for you. Awful.

That trip sounds like so much fun. Boy would Trucker love a topless hotel. Even with sunglasses I know exactly what he would be looking at. The man is mesmerized by them. LOL.

BTW, going topless is not so bad. It does bring a certain sense of freedom.

Daryl said...

The more I read/get to know you the more I am sure we are living the same life in different places .. tho Husband doesnt golf he does watch it on TV... and getting him out of the house on vacation is impossible .. for the last few years I have joined gal pals to spend long weekends visiting places out SOs and Husbands wont or dont want to go!

I hereby invite you to join us!


Gaining Some LB's said...

Now that we have a privacy fence......I can walk around any way I want!!!

If my boobs want to sag on the be it!!

Snooty.....Go out and plant those flowers NAKED!!!!!

I dare ya


brneyedgal967 said...

LMAO - forget YouTube... it would probably end up on YouBoob. Bwahahah. I would so totally go topless - even 40 pounds overweight. To hell with it. Of course, I'd have to pluck my nipple hair first. Hourly. I'd also have to be drunk. I've been sober on Bourbon Street and didn't get any beads. Then drunk on Bourbon Street and I brought a suitcase full of beads home to the kids... they were all like, where did you get all the beads, Mom? That's when I blink and put on my innocent face... the nice people of NOLA just hand them out. Yep, that's what they do.

Your pics are beautiful. I want to go there someday. Putting that on my Bucket List... actually, a Fuckit List -- as in fuck it, I'm going. :-)


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