Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Alien In My Neighborhood... An Ongoing Saga

Be sure to click on pictures for the larger version.
Apparently, today is Moving Day (maybe I should say Moving Week) for the Alien and his family. The streets surrounding the neighborhood are congested with their workmen's trucks, moving trucks & vans, interior decorator's vehicles and more. It's been amusing to watch, really. So much pomp & circumstance that it's quite overwhelming at times, but always entertaining. It's also nearly impossible to leave home occasionally. This morning my circle drive was completely blocked at one end. Grrr...

The driveway happens to be part of an easement we share with the house he owns next door to us. So, apparently this is what easements are for. He has already been in a two year long battle over the easement with our neighbor on the other side of the house next to ours. We certainly do not want to go that route because we actually kind of like the guy and we prefer to be good neighbors. To a point. I certainly don't think it would be wise to let him run all over us either, but I'll hold my tongue for now. After all, it has been 6 years worth of this stuff and I think all of us in the neighborhood have been very tolerant. However, my tolerance is wearing thin.

It appears that it quite possibly might take the entire week for the moving process to be completed, by the way things look from here at least. The children's playhouse doesn't seem to be completed yet, but who knows? Tomorrow I might wake up and see that the kids are playing in it & hanging out of windows and swinging from the chandeliers. Surely the children's playhouse has chandeliers, wouldn't you think?

Honestly, don't get me wrong about all this. I want he & his family to be very happy in their new home. Really. I do. I just don't want to be a part of it. At all. Ever. We've been happy for the 21 years that we've lived here and our children have loved it. I hope their children will, as well. We are ready to move on soon and I just want to have a smaller place with no yard and a swimming pool. I feel ridiculous living close to a house of this titanic size. My tastes are not extravagant. I just want what I want and there is nothing in this life that will dissuade me. I'm a menopausal woman with a one track mind. In other words, don't screw with me or I might go totally postal on whatever poor person happens to do so. That makes me a rather scary neighbor to children, doesn't it? Hehehehehehe....

Oh, and they finished planting the bed that is directly next to where everyone stops at the stop sign and can't see oncoming cars. How nice of him! We can't see oncoming cars, but at least we have some lovely landscaping to keep us happy as we collide with oncoming cars. How thoughtful is that?

Oh and get this. We are once again invited to their Memorial Day party, which we fully intend to attend. Is my nose looking a little brownish to anyone? The party is always held on the front lawn of the house (well, it has been for the last 6 years) with tables & chairs & tablecloths & barbecue & an old time Texas Swing country band. All of this is held outside and they usually lay out the dance floor once the food has been cleared away. There will be plenty of food and grovelers (like us) and country fiddle music, along with about 250 to 300 guests. Just a small affair, you know. Texas billionaire style, that is. I suppose they had better hurry up and get things moved in so the dust can settle a bit before the date of the shindig arrives. No matter, all of we brown nosers will be there on time.

Oh - and don't worry. Like a good blogger, I'll be sure to take as many discreet and indiscreet pictures as I possibly can. I am a shameless blogging nut. And I don't care. So, stay tuned. This ought to be a real humdinger, folks! Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaw!

Now, really. Do they honestly think we're going to believe that we've been invited to their estate to *Celebrate Summer*??? Whatever. But, here is the invitation with the important info covered up. Hey, I am a bit crazy at times, but I am not a stupid girl.

17 comments:

Daryl said...

Crazy? No. Brilliant? Yes. And no, your nose is not brown .. you must take pix while inside their 'compound' .. I think its an excellent plan to encourage them to buy you out but what will happen to Felicia??? I hope she stays away from the playhouse or the Alien will surely send one of his serfs to shoot her.

:-Daryl

Snooty Primadona said...

Oh my! I hadn't even thought about that. However, I do know that The Alien is a true conservationist and donates a lot of money to related causes. I actually do trust him to do the right thing. As much as I've used him as the butt of my blog, he's really a pretty good guy. He just has more money than he needs, but at least he's a good philanthropist.

Treasia said...

Your comment about the lovely flower bed landscaping while getting hit by oncoming car totally cracked me up this morning. Loved it.

Now Snooty be very careful. I am told a brown nose can quickly turn into a shit ring around the neck when it spreads. LOL.

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

Eat his food, drink his wine, dance to his music, take his money and run!
LMAO@ Treasia's comment.. shit ring bbbwwaaahhaahaha

Krysta said...

Isn't there some sort of laws about blocking the views of traffic? or is he above the law? He has short man's diesese.

Mental P Mama said...

Make sure you charge your batteries...and I was going to ask how tall he was. Great minds think alike;)

Asthmagirl said...

That was my take on the whole thing... he must be short! So glad others are pondering that as well! And yes, I want to see pictures from the inside! Especially the buffet spread! Thanks Snooty!

Gaining Some LB's said...

I can't wait to see the pictures!!!

Good job on the brown-nosing. The further up his ass you can get, the better. I am so jealous.

Where do you pee? Are there port-a-potties? Do you have to hold it all day?? Or do you get to go inside the compound? I would sooooo be sneaking around if I could get inside.

Peace
#2

Snooty Primadona said...

Yes, the little man puts out port-a-pottys for the party. Lord knows he wouldn't want the riff-raff using his brand new bathrooms. Hehehe... I just saw the trucks delivering them, so that's a done deal.

Never fear. I will find some way to get inside the house. Any suggestions? Like should I cut my finger on something and ask if I can go in to clean it up and get a band-aid? Or will he say "Go across the street to your own house"? Who knows.

scargosun said...

Ohhh! You can wear your birth certificate tee shirt! ;) I cannot wait to hear about this party.

Don't forget to take dinner rolls home in your purse.

Holy Crappers said...

I wish he was my neighbor this weekend,,,wanna switch, my neighbors are just marvy

noble pig said...

It's like you're going to Playboy Mansion or something. We want some real raunch pics and info so stay alert!

Snooty Primadona said...

scargo: This isn't the reunion weekend. That's the 14th. This weekend is the crazy little man Alien neighbor who is building a compound on our street. He's having a Memorial Day party Saturday night Jeeze, I wonder if he's Mormon. Yikes!

hc & np: I feel like I'm going to be in attendance at the Queen's (make that King's) Court, only it's Texas Casual. Today it is 103 degrees farenheit in the shade. I don't suppose it will be much better on Saturday. I can't even finish repotting my plants... it's too damn hot! I get one finished & have to come back inside to cool off before I can go back out. ugh.

QueenMother said...

take pics!

Janie said...

Girlfriend, you are making me laugh.

Gaining Some LB's said...

Is it Saturday yet?


Peace
#2

brneyedgal967 said...

I know this has already happened and I'm sure I'll be reading the party post soon... but at this very moment, before I read about it - I hope you got liquored up and puked in a potted plant, or some other inconspicuous spot that won't be noticed but will stink to high heaven in a few days after the party. How's that for a run on sentence??? My english teacher would be so proud.

 

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