A Labor Day Weekend YeeHaw...

In honor of Labor Day, I'm playing in a club golf tournament. Yes, I know I said I wasn't doing any more golf tournaments. Frankly, I lied. Get over it. One of the friends I play girlie-golf with, talked me into playing in the "Chaparral" club tournament this weekend. Rather than thinking about how I'd effect the outcome for my team members, I jumped right in and accepted. Although it is a three day tournament, I'm taking the option of playing only two of the three days. On Saturday, we play a scramble and on Monday we play a shamble. We opted out on Sunday because it's a best ball tournament, which we both detest. The Widiots (weather idiots) have predicted a cold front for the weekend (oh sure) which means that it MIGHT be somewhere in the vicinity of the temps they have predicted. You know, give 20 or 30 degrees in whatever direction. Supposedly, it is going to be in the 60's and 70's. Oh, if that were only going to be true. I'd be a happy happy camper. I swear I'm going to behave myself. As. If. I. Can. Honestly, I have no choice. It's a tournament on my home court.

At any rate, I think it's going to be fun. Also, our Galveston friends are going to be here for the next three weeks. Yay! So good times are definitely ahead. We're going out to dinner with them tonight but alas, there won't be any food porn, as I broke my camera. Again. This time for good. Mr. Snooty actually yelled at me for dropping it and I was ready to strangle him. "Oh, of course, Dear. I did it on purpose. Yes, I dropped my life force (camera) while the zoom lens was out, just like the last time. You know. So it would break just when I'm finally getting to know it." Choose your battles a bit more wisely, my Dear.

So, after this holiday weekend, I'll be back here full time and reading every one's blogs again. I know it's going to take forever to catch up on my reading. Also, I've ordered a new camera so I won't have any pictures until the middle of the week, when the new camera is expected to arrive.

AsthmaGirl and The Keeper of All Things both tagged me last week for this meme, so I'm going to try to get this done.

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:

1. Worship, adore and spoil my grandchildren (if I ever have any)
2. Go Abroad For A Month, Spending 3 Weeks of It In Italy
3. Go Zip-Lining... I think that's what it's called.
4. Own a vacation home again... somewhere nice. (or, I could just make more good friends who will invite us to theirs)
5. Learn To Play The Fiddle (not the violin, there's a difference)... whatever.
6. Sell all of our crap and start over from scratch in a new home (hopefully not a Nursing home).
7. Break 100 again in golf. (Hopefully before I turn 100.)


Seven Things I Can Do:

1. I can pump my own gas..... even though Mr. Snooty usually does it for me.
2. I can play a better game of golf when on the brink of slurring my words. Okay, fine. Drunk.
3. I can accomplish anything... as long as it's my choice of what I'm going to accomplish.
4. I can still do a cartwheel, only now it hurts for weeks months afterwards.
5. I can sing and used to sing in a rock band back in the Dark Ages.
6. I can still ski even though my daughter keeps asking what's wrong with me. (As in "why can't you ski like you used to?")
7. I can stop cussing any time I want to... I simply don't fucking want to.

Seven Things I Can't Do:

1. At 55, I can no longer pass for 45. How depressing is that? He he he
2. I cannot wink my left eye. I can wink my right eye but the left one has always been broken. My brother (The Prince) always told me it was because I was mildly retarded. I'm still in therapy over that.
3. I cannot change a tire. I've never even tried. That's what AAA is for.
4. Unless I have an Immaculate Conception, I won't be bearing any more children.
5. Play a decent game of golf without luck being involved.
6. I've never been able to discipline children or animals. Yes, it's a weakness and a flaw in my character, but I'm a total tender heart.
7. I cannot operate a sewing machine without breaking it, so I sew everything by hand.


Seven Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex:

1. A Man Who Is Not Above Goddess Worship. Of Me.
2. Ability to laugh and be funny as long as he's not a clown. Clowns are just creepy.
3. A Man Who Always Takes My Side (unless I go all psycho)
4. A Man Who Thinks I'm Beautiful. (Does this man exist?)
5. A Man Who Thinks I'm Sexy (Does this man exist?)
6. A Man Who Loves The Outdoors But Doesn't Balk At Camping Out At The Four Seasons.
7. A Man Who Just Enjoys Being With Me (Does this man exist?)


Seven things I say most often:

1. "Trouble, you bitch!" (most often said when the cat is hurling yet another hairball of gargantuan size or shredding the chair I'm in because it's midnight and she wants to eat.)
2. "If you don't put something back where you got it, we might never find it again." (said mostly to Mr. Snooty)
3. "Oh Shit." (said most often while playing golf)
4. "Oh Fuck!" (said most often when playing golf)
5. "Oh My Gawd!" (said most often when playing golf or while watching the news)
6. "You want me to put WHAT in my mouth?" (just kidding... I only say this with my eyes)
7. "Oh My Goodness! Bless His (or Her) Heart." (Reserved for mostly family and people who are infinitely nicer than I. Yes, I should have been a sailor.)


Seven Celebrity Crushes:

1. Paul Newman - Because he will always be sexy with those baby blue eyes...
2. Robert Redford - Because he will always just be plain ole sexy...
3. Martin Short - Because he's the funniest man on earth...
4. David Spade - Because he's the sarcastically funniest man on earth...
5. Michael Buble - The Voice. OMG! Hot guy with sexy voice. Need I say more?
6. Jon Bon Jovi - The absolute sexiest man alive. I'd leave my hubby in a red hot second for Jon.
7. James Woods - Because even though he's not that sexy looking... he's like one of the sexiest men ever.
8. Matt Damon - Need I explain this one? (ooops! So much for just 7.)


Seven People I'm Tagging For This:

Daryl @ out & about in new york city
Jen @ Scargosun
Life Is Better With A Cute Outfit
Sarcastic, Funny & Brutally Honest
Treasia @ Confessions of A Midlife Trucker's Wife
Janie @ Sounding Forth
Jeri @ In The Gutter