Keeping It Real... Hobbitt Feet Minus The Hair... I'm Just Saying

Yes, I know you see the resemblance. How could you possibly help but see? I've been embarrassed by my ugly feet my entire life, but once I hit my 50's I really quit caring how they look to others, so I wear what I want now. People can stare at me all they want and I just give them a wink. That always gets them!

Yesterday I was over at imom's blog (Delusions Of Everything) and she had been talking about everyone on her weekend trip doing pedicures and manicures, then showed some pictures of some of the feet in the process. I just happened to comment on how pretty her feet are and what I'd give to have pretty feet instead of these hairless Hobbit Feet that I have. She wrote me back to say those weren't her feet and that she had Hobbit Feet too, which cracked me up.

That's when we decided to both blog about it today as kind of Dueling Hobbit Feet. My guess is that she's going to feel ever so much better about her own feet after this post. I seek to make others feel better whenever I possibly can.

Truthfully, I was born with the flattest feet known to mankind. I've never met anyone whose feet are as flat mine, nor have I ever seen anyone with feet flatter than mine. I basically walk around on my ankles all the time. It doesn't really hurt unless I've been walking on a sandy beach, which hurts most everyone that's not used to it.

My mother (The Brown Recluse) was so horrified by this imperfection that she actually told me that I'd had Polio when I was a baby and that I was lucky to even be walking without leg braces. Many years later, my paternal grandparents and my Dad told me none of that was true. There is no medical record of it and many other family members supported the fact that it wasn't true.

I was simply born with flat feet, or as they so kindly refer to it these days, flexible arches. They are not so *flexible* as that title would have you think. I mean, I can bend them into an arch if I pull really hard on them, but they always go back to flat. Actually, I think they snap back more than anything.

I normally try to hide them with shoes but that becomes a bit difficult in the summer months when I wear nothing but sandals. They stick out like... well, big old flat feet, with the left foot being the worst of the two. Yeah. They don't even match. One is as flat as a pancake and the other is only semi-flat. I think I willed the right foot to not be so flat. I swear! However, over the years, the left (flatter foot) has begun to look almost deformed and there is just no hiding it as well as I used to.

The right foot is around an inch shorter because it's the foot that I had a Bunionectomy on. They remove the one inch section of awkwardly curved bone during surgery, which results in the shortened length.

The worst part of all is that I have a huge passion for shoes that I can't have because my flat feet make them *boat out* in the middle, among other things. I also can't wear cheap shoes because they never fit right. When you have pretty feet, you can wear just about any kind of shoes you want. Not so, with Hobbit Feet. I like being barefoot more than anything. Almost like the fictional Hobbits!

So, you think I'm exaggerating. Then get a load of these pictures. Oh and don't the spider veins add a little something to my feet? I think I'm like the poster child for how you don't want your feet to look at 56 years old. And don't even get me started about the web toes on my right foot. My doctor says the spider veins were actually caused by the stress that my feet receive on a daily basis.

However, I've always been an excellent swimmer since I have my very own built-in fins. There had to be at least one perk to being cursed with flat feet. Right?

You can just barely see the scar on my right foot, from having the bunion removed. Yup. I'm a real natural beauty alright. Just ask me...