Sunday, July 5, 2009

Well, Color Me Happy! My Team Somehow Pulled Off First Place...

This morning amidst a steady, light rain, my team and I teed off at 9:15 AM with great trepidation. There was loud thunder off to the left and off to the right, but we never saw any lightning, so play was never interrupted. I thought that we'd surely hear the sirens from the clubhouse, but they never sounded. We played on, thinking that we were going to have the worst score of all the teams because we were all playing horribly. The air was so heavy you could have cut it with a knife and the balls weren't going as far as they should have. I found myself having to *club up* on nearly every shot and every shot seemed to play out like a game of craps.



Today was another *shamble* with two *net balls* instead of only one, like we had yesterday. The teams were different too, but once again, I made out like a bandit and scored an awesome team of players. Today I only had one Eagle, 2 Birdies and 3 Pars. Boo Hoo! (whatever!) It was great and I enjoyed the entire tournament thoroughly.



However, today, with the all the wet weather, I had to dress for the rain and knew my hair would get soaked, which makes me resemble a wet rat. It's not pretty, but I didn't care. I was there to play real golf today, with real diehard players and it was such a great feeling being a winner for once. I could seriously get used to this.



I also had an epiphany. I like playing with everyone but my own Mr. Snoots. I know. It sounds really mean, doesn't it? But honestly, the man cannot quit telling me what I'm doing wrong the entire time we play together. Everyone else praises me for every shot and every putt, good or bad, which somehow makes me (or allows me) to play better. If Mr. Snoots could just figure this out we'd be great together. But, alas, I fear he cannot and will not ever be able to be different. This will certainly limit our time playing golf together.



The only thing that really ruffled my feathers a bit today, was the two men on our team insisted on telling me precisely where to putt my ball. You know. Like I didn't have the sense to do it on my own. Yesterday, I sank 16 of 18 putts. Today, I sank 5 putts out of 18. Hmmmmm… There's your sign, huh?

When someone insists on telling you where to putt, I think they have no idea how they are undermining your play, but they are. Of course, they think they are being oh-so-helpful, but it's almost insulting when (without invitation) they say, "Firm stroke right here to this spot." For me, it's like the freaking *kiss of death* and then I usually rocket launch my 3 foot putt to destinations unknown. Thanks a lot guys, but I think I can handle this all on my own, unless you'd like for me to line YOUR putts up for you....

14 comments:

Daryl said...

I recommend ear plugs .. nod,smile and keep the sound of voices muted!

cornbread hell said...

i recommend politely telling them to shut the eff up...unless they prefer having their putters shoved up their pooters.

The Incredible Woody said...

I really don't think it would have been bad form to wrap a putter around their necks;)

noble pig said...

It's so typical for husbands to do that. And the putter people to shut it. And quick.

Asthmagirl said...

The old goat is very like Mr. Snoots.... filled with unwanted advice only in our case, TOG thinks I need fishing advice. Ah well, we do love them.

Congrats on first place. Tell your helpful friends you'll be glad to come over and them them how to mow their lawns...

Flea said...

Putters shoved up their pooters - that's my new favorite line

Heather said...

Congrats! That's SO cool. I do feel like a "real" golfer when I play in the rain.

As for the putts, I couldn't agree more. You have to go with your gut. I hate it when someone asks me to read a putt for them. I usually say, "Where do you think it's breaking?" and then tell them that's exactly where I would put it.

Confidence over a putt is more important than anything else.

Mental P Mama said...

Well done my friend! And I don't ever play with my husband for just that very reason. And he ain't no Tiger himself...sheesh;)

Patricia Hannigan said...

The wet rat look...that's what they made baseball/golf caps for. And it doesn't even have to be wet, I wore one to a NYC business meeting on a rare dry day in early June...just because I didn't feel like fussing with my (ultra-long, supposedly age-inappropriate)hair.

Also the guy/putting thing... guys always have to tell girls where to putt. And it can never be, "just straight, there's really no break". No. It always has to be, "right here, because it's breaking left" or some such thing. And if the ball doesn't go in... well, why didn't you do what he said? Only problem is, you did do what he said. ;o)

Sounds like you and your girls had a great time. :o)

Patricia Hannigan said...

Oh one more thing...I've been trying out a heavy putter and it's been working really well for me. Really well.

Then "Nick the @#*&" tells me, "it's not good, you lose the "touch" with a heavy putter".

That's OK I'll sacrifice the "touch" to ELIMINATE three putts.

Caddy said...

Next time someone (usually the men) tells you how to putt you should remind them that golf is a "gentleman's game" and one of the rules is not to give unsolicited advice :D. It's a 2 point penalty against them.

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

This is one of the reasons I have never taken up golf. We have friends and the husbands play golf together. The other husband wants his wife and me to take lessons so that we can go on golf trips together. My husband and I just look at each other and smile. We know the truth... One of us would be dead by the end of the first 5 holes.

WomenBloom said...

Oh, I don't think this guy stuff is limited to one's putting. Ask any teenage girl whose dad has tried to teach her to drive. You'd think they would notice that proficiency was going down not up, but no.

Golf seems like a very frustrating game. With or without the guys... :)

What a lovely little fox, they are much more cat-like than I imagined. What a treat!

Itty Bitty Crazy said...

Research done a few years ago showed that men constantly interrupted women in conversation because, fundamentally, they considered their opinion less important. Change is coming, but slowly.

I recommend waiting for the opportunity to turn the tables, like I do with Fluffy Bear. While having sex may be the most effective. Tell him to do that, move there, etc. When he displays annoyance say "Honey, I promise never to do this to you in bed again as long as you never do it to me on the golf course again? Deal?"

You can bet he'll never forget THAT.

Fluffy Bear, for instance, constantly unlocks on the driver's door, then waits till he gets in the car, arranges himself and THEN unlocks the other door from his inside door handle. The other day, I was driving and left him standing outside the car for a good two minutes.

"See how annoying it is?" I told him when he got in.

Lucky for me, Fluffy Bear has an indefatigable sense of humor and he is used to my giving him S__T.

Read more about him on my blog at www.ittybittycrazy.com

 

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