Things I've Learned And Know To Be True...

Positive thinking makes almost everything in life better, including golf.

Milk Thistle Seed Extract Drops (with Yellow Dock) keeps your liver cleansed of the impurities of liquor. You can buy it at the health food store.

If something or someone makes you laugh, then laugh loud and long. It's good for you!

If you feel like you're getting a fever blister on your lip, start dabbing it immediately with a cotton ball soaked in hydrogen peroxide. Repeat at least once every two hours. I swear the blister will never show its ugly head.

Aloe Vera plant is the best natural healer on the planet.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Revenge is best served cold.

Never pass up the chance to tell someone you love them. If they don't return that love, they were never worthy of your love in the first place.

Just because your parents screw you up during your early years doesn't mean you have to carry the dysfunctional torch and pass it on to the next generation. Learn to live by *the buck stops here* doctrine. Once you officially leave home, you are the only one responsible for the path your life travels down. Just make sure it's a path that leads to someplace you want to go.

Your children should always be your most prized works of art as well as your favorite people. If they aren't, you might want to backtrack a little and fix things, if you can.

Always keep an open mind. Without that, you merely become drunk with stupidity, tunnel vision and stubbornness. Do you really want to spend your life wasted like that?

At least one time during every single day, you should stop and languor in the beauty of the moment; the day. Breathe it in and let it wash over you. This is good for you too.

Never say never. Don't ever be afraid to try something new. I'm not saying you have to like it. Just try it. You might even surprise yourself. Otherwise, your life becomes stale and surely that can't be fun or good for you.

You will never find happiness through the suffering of other people.

Drink at least one glass of red wine every day. It's actually good for you. My doctor told me this.

Drink one cup of green tea every day. It's good for you too. My doctor told me this as well.

Never allow yourself to be with a partner who doesn't think you're the most wonderful creature on the face of the earth. Someone who can look deep into your eyes and tell you how beautiful you are (whether you are or not) with heartfelt sincerity. Otherwise, for the rest of your life you'll end up settling for mediocrity. Everyone deserves to feel like someone's day is made perfect by their presence. If you can't have this then you should prefer to remain alone until you find it... even if it never comes. Love isn't and never should be mediocre. It's very precious and far too rare these days.

The secret to life is that there really is no *secret*. It means something different to everyone and therefore cannot be measured by any kind of instrument. If it could be measured, then I'd say it should be measured by the quality of your friends and the love of your family, your ability to adapt to situations as needed, and your capacity to love (extending beyond just your inner circle of family and friends). It means that you have an open heart and not just that you're gullible.

Do what makes you happy in life. If everyone did that, this would be a far more peaceful world than it is, don't you agree?

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." Sir Walter Scott (Pretty much a no-brainer, yes?)

People will seldom remember what you wore, what you said, or who you were with. However, they will remember how you made them feel.