Apparently, I Lack The Whole Christmas Lights Understanding Gene...

Every year it seems that I struggle with the lights on the Christmas tree. I mean, what the heck is that all about? I pondered just getting a new tree but they all look so jicky that I rejected that random idea. The only ones I liked were $350.00, which just put me in a foul mood. Besides, the new trees have plastic branches mixed in with the *papery* branches, which just totally look grossly fake to me. The tree I have currently doesn't have any plastic branches. So, I'm in a major dilemma.



I earnestly tried to find all of the tree light plugs, for the entire day, yesterday. No. Can. Do. I am now to the point of total frustration. I laid under the tree for hours trying to find the missing plugs I needed to make the entire tree light up, not just parts of it. Again, no can do. No, there are no pictures of this atrocity, just the mess I've made while trying to make the freaking lights work.



We even went so far as to take the tree apart AGAIN, but I still couldn't locate the missing plug to make the unlit lights come on. I'm seriously not a moron but this whole ordeal is making me feel like a complete and total IDIOT/MORON!



There has to be an easier way, right?



My neighbors across the street spend like 30 minutes putting up their fabulous tree and outdoor lights. Sadly, it takes me days weeks to get mine up and running, which of course, makes me feel like an idiot all over again. I'm convinced that they are watching me, laughing hysterically all the while. I would be.


 
Now I'm in tears over this. Yes, I'm still the town crier and I cry over the slightest little problem. I'm so not mature. I'm thinking I should just toss this tree in the trash and get a real one, but I hate the mess of having real Christmas trees (I'm pretty sure it would be way less stress than I'm experiencing with our artificial tree for the last 2 days). How ironic is that?



Last year I magically got the lights to all work at the same time. I suppose I need to write down what I do to make them work. Argh. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, but I have no idea why since it makes me nutso every year, so I've let out several primal screams over this dilemma, assuring the neighbors that I am indeed insane. I'm pretty sure they already knew that.....