Happy 33rd Anniversary Mr. Snoots! It's Been Quite A Ride Mi Amore...

I thought about writing a new post but after reading this I realized I couldn't improve upon it, although I've added some changes. So, I'm posting it again, since I've spent this week and the week prior to this one at the doctor's office.

Okay, here it is our 33rd wedding anniversary and today I didn't even give you a card. I'm really sorry, my love. I still haven't found the card that I bought for you last year, but I think you're used to me by now. I try to go with the flow and this year the flow is crazy, as always. I'm sure you didn't expect anything different.

You freaked out over the spider bite on my arm last week, but it all turned out okay and I've been given a clean *bill of health*. It looks far worse than it really is. Thank. God. I think I'll live, in spite of the ugliness of said bite.

I know you still love me because you brought me flowers and made me a lobster dinner in spite of not getting a card from me. This is, alas, what marriage is all about... forgiving the little things and looking at the bigger picture. Two wonderful children who don't live at home any longer and thirty-three years of wedded bliss... or something vaguely resembling that. You know what I mean. It hasn't all been roses, but we have survived to make it last longer than any of our friends. (Does that say something about us or our friends?)

Anyway, in sickness (remember that weekend you'd been w/ the frat bros in Vegas? and I'd been in Mexico w/ the wives and we both came home sick and had to fight one another for first dibbs at the toilet?) and in health (remember the day you called me after your 6 month checkup at the doctor's and said, "The doctor says I'll live another six months" and I freaked out and started demanding you tell me what was wrong and you said it was nothing but a joke? I thought I'd die. Or kill you first. Then die.

One year I was in the depression of miscarriage and you stood by me. You helped me stay strong, even though there were others to come that we were yet unaware of. Two more, to be exact. Then, we were finally blessed with two beautiful, funny, intelligent children.

There were years I was too busy with the kids to pay you much mind but you still stood by me. You would rock them to sleep and tell them stories, which gave me a few desperately needed moments of quiet at the end of days I thought I'd go stark raving mad.

There were years that my family was trying to rip my guts out with their bare hands, making me crazy, but you still stood by me and defended me. Then you made them go away and leave me alone. You. Are. My. Hero.

There were years of plentiful money and flowing oil and gas, but then the lean years came with the bust of the early 1980's and we stood strong, although often weakened by the twists and turns our lives would take. We were never sure of how we'd handle it all, but we knew we still loved each other.

There were even years when we doubted the strength of our love and our marriage, but somehow managed to make it back to love. I thank you for surviving that time with me.

The year your parents both got diagnosed with cancer, was probably one of the toughest years we ever had to bear. We lost our best friends, didn't we? We spent that year taking turns driving them to chemo and taking care of them. We buried your mother in February, then buried your Dad on our wedding anniversary that year. Needless to say, we didn't celebrate the union of our marriage that year. Still, we stood together with what strength we had left.

Not long after that, our son took a foray into the deadly world of drugs that lasted 8 years and there were times I thought I'd die, but you stood by my side, helping me to remain strong, knowing what we had to do. We nearly lost him, but with the help of God, and each other, we were able to finally reclaim him. So, I guess the teenage years were oddly the worst of years with son and the best of years with daughter, although he has more than made up for it now, huh?

 

When my best friend *Suze* died suddenly, you stood strong for me although I know it couldn't have been easy. It was a hard year for me to get through, but you still stood by me in all my madness.  

It has never been an easy road with me, has it dear? Well, it hasn't been an easy road with you either, Mister. What it has been is a journey of discovery, of ups and downs, of good times and bad times, of arguments and problem solving, soccer trips and basketball games, of having money and not having money, baseball games and football trips, cheer-leading practice, PTA meetings, volunteering until we were weak with exhaustion, late nights when the children were sick, Brownie meetings and cookies to sell, karate lessons, mind expanding slumber parties until we wanted to strangle all the kids, yard work, neglecting yard work, summers at the lake, skiing every winter, Six Flags every summer, Schlitterbahn several summers, Sea World, sports camps, summer camps, birthday parties, holidays, box seats at the Angels baseball games in summer, carpool and homework and all of the other filler that goes in between. You of all people, know that there are far too many things to list. Yet, you still stand beside me through it all.

 Then at long last, we were once again alone, both wondering if there was enough left to pick up the pieces of parenting and the toll it had taken on us as a couple. There were so many years that we passed one another coming and going with one child or the other, headed in opposite directions. There wasn't time for much else, was there? Somehow, we found that there was a glimmer of a spark that still glowed between us and we were able to get that sucker going again, weren't we?

 It might not be the mad passionate love of our youth, but it's the only love I want, Mr. Snoots. Just your love. Just you. You and me, my love. Until we get too old to help the other. Until that time arrives, let the good times roll, baby! 

I am yours, forever and always.....

Happy 32nd Anniversary Mr. Snoots! It's Been Quite A Ride Mi Compadre....

Okay, here it is our 32nd wedding anniversary and today I gave you a card that was maybe 20 years old. I'm really sorry, my love. I bought you a really funny and cool card, but somehow misplaced it. However, I assume you're used to me and my ways by now and you know I'll find it by next year, right?



I hope you know that I would have left the house today to get you another card, but my blog friend Lauren over at The Mental Pause Chronicles had a horoscope thingy up on Monday, so I followed the link and read mine that said to be careful this week because some crazy drunk might try to run me over, so I was really afraid to leave the house. I was especially afraid because yesterday a girl was killed on my route to the grocery store at exactly the time I would have been en route to said grocery store, as you well know. I really am sorry that I was afraid to go out today. I'm also afraid of getting the swine flu, which seems to be running amok, locally. I know I'm getting to be somewhat paranoid but I know you'll stand by me, right?



I know you still love me because you brought me flowers and made me a lobster dinner in spite of the crummy card you got from me. This is, alas, what marriage is all about... forgiving the little things and looking at the bigger picture. Two wonderful children who don't live at home any longer and thirty-two years of wedded bliss... or something vaguely resembling that. You know what I mean. It hasn't all been roses, but we have survived to make it last longer than any of our friends. (Does that say something about us or our friends?)



Anyway, in sickness (remember that weekend you'd been w/ the frat bros in Vegas? and I'd been in Mexico w/ the wives and we both came home sick and had to fight one another for first dibbs at the toilet?) and in health (remember the day you called me after your 6 month check at the doctor's and said, "The doctor says I'll live another six months" and I freaked out and started demanding you tell me what was wrong and you said it was nothing but a joke? I thought I'd die. Or kill you first. Then die.



One year I was in the depression of miscarriage and you stood by me. You helped me stay strong, even though there were others to come that we were yet unaware of. Two more, to be exact. Then, we were finally blessed with two beautiful, funny, intelligent children.



There were years I was too busy with the kids to pay you much mind but you still stood by me. You would rock them to sleep and tell them stories, which gave me a few desperately needed moments of quiet at the end of days I thought I'd go stark raving mad.



There were years that my family was trying to rip my guts out with their bare hands, making me crazy, but you still stood by me and defended me. Then you made them go away and leave me alone. You. Are. My. Hero.



There were years of plentiful money and flowing oil and gas, but then the lean years came with the bust of the early 1980's and we stood strong, although often weakened by the twists and turns our lives would take. We were never sure of how we'd handle it all, but we knew we still loved each other.



There were even years when we doubted the strength of our love and our marriage, but somehow managed to make it back to love. I thank you for surviving that time with me.



The year your parents both got diagnosed with cancer, was probably one of the toughest years we ever had to bear. We lost our best friends, didn't we? We spent that year taking turns driving them to chemo and taking care of them. We buried your mother in February, then buried your Dad on our wedding anniversary that year. Needless to say, we didn't celebrate the union of our marriage that year. Still, we stood together with what strength we had left.



Not long after that, our son took a foray into the deadly world of drugs that lasted 8 years and there were times I thought I'd die, but you stood by my side, helping me to remain strong, knowing what we had to do. We nearly lost him, but with the help of God, and each other, we were able to finally reclaim him. So, I guess the teenage years were oddly the worst of years with son and the best of years with daughter, although he has more than made up for it now, huh?



When my best friend *Suze* died suddenly, you stood strong for me although I know it couldn't have been easy. It was a hard year for me to get through, but you still stood by me in all my madness.




It has never been an easy road with me, has it dear? Well, it hasn't been an easy road with you either, Mister. What it has been is a journey of discovery, of ups and downs, of good times and bad times, of arguments and problem solving, soccer trips and basketball games, of having money and not having money, baseball games and football trips, cheer-leading practice, PTA meetings volunteering until we were weak with exhaustion, late nights when the children were sick, girl scouts, karate lessons, mind expanding slumber parties until we wanted to strangle all the kids, yard work, neglecting yard work, summers at the lake, skiing every winter, Six Flags every summer, Schlitterbahn several summers, Sea World, sports camps, summer camps, birthday parties, holidays, box seats at the Angels games in summer, carpool and homework and all of the other filler that goes in between. You of all people, know that there are far too many things to list. Yet, you still stand beside me through it all.



Then at long last, we were once again alone, both wondering if there was enough left to pick up the pieces of parenting and the toll it had taken on us as a couple. There were so many years that we passed one another coming and going with one child or the other, headed in opposite directions. There wasn't time for much else, was there? Somehow, we found that there was a glimmer of a spark that still glowed between us and we were able to get that sucker going again, weren't we?


It might not be the mad passionate love of our youth, but it's the only love I want Mr. Snoots. Just your love. Just you.
You and me, my love. Until we get too old to help the other. Until that time arrives, let the good times roll, baby! 

I am yours, forever and always.....

Tonight I Was The Perfect Poster Child for How Not To Act In Church..... Especially Weddings

Wow! I am truly at a loss for words. I'm not sure that I can even begin to describe this wonderful wedding & reception tonight. Or even remember all of it, for that matter. But I'm willing to give the memory the old college try. It was almost like an Odyssey. A wonderful, delightful Odyssey that allowed everyone invited to actually be a part of this young couple's life, now and as long as we live. To tell you the honest truth, I've never experienced anything like this before. It was completely moving and I was starting to well up.

We arrived at the church about 15 minutes before the wedding was to start. We were handed these gorgeous programs for the ceremony. Our Galveston friends' son was an usher, so we spotted him and he raced over to us so that he could be the one to seat us. He is so adorable! Evidently, I'm falling behind on things, because I didn't realize that they don't seat you according to bride's or groom's side anymore. Good. That could so often be noticeably lop-sided, so this is a good change.

After the seating of the Grandmothers and the mothers, the procession finally began. The bridesmaids had on the most divine pale mocha colored full length satin strapless gowns. Each one also had a matching satin shawl that they each had tied where it goes around the shoulders, under the arms, and ties in the back. So fashionable. And, they all chose to wear their hair *up* in the Breakfast-At-Tiffany's-Audrey-Hepburn style. It was so incredibly chic! I never had that kind of style back when we got married at 25. I was a tasteless babe in the woods compared to this.

At that moment I started thinking that the groom's mother, my deceased best friend, would have been so pleased and proud. Frankly, I knew beforehand that I would do it to myself. I was starting to tear up and I knew what was just around the corner. The dam bursting. Oh, no. No. I kept telling myself "Don't do this now. You'll ruin your makeup and make a complete idiot out of yourself." Still, it looked like a pretty sure thing. Until the minister said something that totally stunned me.

He began to speak to the couple about how the odds were against them and that in all probablility, they would end up divorced. Then, he proceeded to go on some kind of rant about marriage being on the eve of destruction and all kinds of chaotic thoughts. Whew! I'm not even sure what he said for a bit after that zinger because my brain had frozen on that. I looked at Mr. Snooty for some kind of recognition but I'm pretty sure he was asleep. I looked to my other side where an adorable young man (friend of the couple) was sitting and he looked at me. We both had these looks on our faces that said WTH? As I glanced around the full church I saw that it was contagious. Many others seemed to have the same look upon their faces. Anyway, this continued on and this young man next to me & I got the giggles. I know, I am 55 and should be able to control such behavior. Especially in church. Especially as an example to younger people.

Tonight, I was the poster child for How Not To Act in Church, especially a wedding. It turned out to be one of those almost painful giggles where you want to stop really badly, but every time that you even glance sideways at the other giggler, it starts all over again. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it. It reached a point that I almost had to be removed from the church. From the church where my best friend's son was getting married. My best friend who died two years ago today. I have a sneaky suspicion that she may have had a hand in this. She always was a very resourceful girl.

I've never before been to a church of this particular denomination and I don't want to name names, but it starts with an L. Unlike those starting with an M, a P, a C, or a B. I was definitely schooled tonight, in a round about way. It still did not help me to keep myself in check, most unfortunately.... I'm just thankful that we were sitting in the very back of the church. I think we went relatively unnoticed other than those sitting... oh, say... 10-15 rows away in every direction. Yes, I acted like a 12 year old. With my cute 25 year old boyfriend sitting next to me. While Mr. Snooty was asleep on the other side of me. During the wedding ceremony. Surely this is going to put us over the top for that *Couple of the Year* nomination.

Anyway, back to the wedding. Stay focused. At the church they had an entire orchestra playing, which included horns and strings. It was truly beautiful. Then, during the lighting of the candles, they had someone else playing a harp with music that was so soothing, I nearly started racking Z's. Until I looked over at my new boyfriend turned-partner-in-crime. All I had to see was his shoulders shaking from laughter with my peripheral vision. It started all over again. I AM SO IMMATURE!!!!! So, when the final prayer was said, I asked God to please protect these two precious young people and PLEASE don't let me get started with the giggles again. Please. I beg you. Probably shouldn't have wasted a God Beg there, but I was on the verge of going over the edge... publicy, no less.

The wedding lasted approximately 35 minutes, but we had been instructed to remain seated until all of the rows in front of us were escorted out of the sanctuary. Well, there's a good argument for not sitting in the back. Which I leaned over and whispered to my new young boyfriend. Which caused the giggling to begin again. So, we both did the proper thing and bowed our heads as we tried to suppress our hysteria. You know, so we'd look like we were praying or something virtuous like that. Which drew a look of disapproval from Mr. Snooty when he woke up. I gave him one right back. I'd rather be guilty of giggling in church than sleeping. Thank you very much.

Shortly after the ceremony everyone congregated again at The Petroleum Club for the reception and sit down dinner. When we first arrived the bride & groom had not yet arrived, so I got a quick shot of the gorgeous wedding cake and the amazing flowers. The appetizers included assorted canape's, boiled shrimp w/ cocktail sauce, assorted cheeses and an Open Bar. They also had a string quartet playing during the hors d'oeurves. Mr. Snooty and I started thinking that this was all that was going to be served, so we were discussing whether or not to leave in a bit to go feed elsewhere.

Then, a friend of mine mentioned that we should go retrieve our dinner placecards, which had the table number on it. Seeing the puzzled looks we had, she said that behind the white satin curtains (the main dining room) was where our dinner awaited. You see, I knew this was going to be a sit-down dinner but Mr. Snooty had somehow convinced me I was wrong. You know, because he's always so knowledgeable about everything, all the time. Hello. He was wrong. I was right. SCORE!!!! Here's a picture of the *Menu*. It was wonderful. Enough said.

Then, the bride & groom danced, then bride & father of the bride danced. They had the most outstanding jazz band with a female lead singer who was amazing. Then, although there was a fabulous main dinner table for the wedding party, this interesting young couple went out and worked the crowd. I loved it! I saw them sitting for perhaps 5 seconds, as you will see in the shots that I was trying to take. The rest of the time they were going around speaking to literally everyone in the room. It was quite something to witness. I'm still in awe of these two.

If anyone else remembers being made to stand in a reception line at their wedding, please raise your hand. How boring and dull and totally uninventive. I remember how horribly my feet hurt and that I hardly knew any of the people. Fun times there. Tonight, this couple made sure that they spoke personally to everyone, gave hugs to everyone, made everyone else feel special. It was truly the most enchanting wedding reception that I've ever been to.

The menu was totally delectible. Here's a picture of Mr. Snooty's plate. Yummm!

Check out these flowers at our table. Are they not divine?

Oh! Then, as a wedding favor, they had CD's of their favorite romantic music for all to listen to on the way home.

All in all, we had a most wonderful time. I think this couple is going to be married as long as they live. No doubts whatsoever.

So, after the reception they were off by private plane to Dallas and then on to Fiji for two weeks. Even though we wished them well, I don't think they will need it. These two special young people have their feet firmly planted on the ground and know exactly what their future is all about. Wow! I wish I'd been so confident at that age.

They had roses in great abundance and I have never been one to pass up smelling the roses. We'll talk about the change in outfits for the wedding when I am able to speak rationally & not sound like a lunatic when I talk about it.

Gone With The Wind... The Morning After...

Whew! In keeping with their tradition of airing Oscar winning movies prior to the Academy Awards, TCM aired the entire original format of Gone With the Wind, exactly as it was originally shown. All I can say is.. WOW! Having been made in 1939, it is just hard to believe that in this day & age of high tech whatever... this movie is still up there at the top of the all-time greats. No bizarre graphics... no high tech crap... we are talking 1939 here. That year, considered to be at the peak of Hollywood's Golden Age, produced other movie classics as well; such as: The Wizard of Oz, Goodbye Mr. Chips, Intermezzo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Dark Victory, Of Mice & Men, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Wuthering Heights and Another Thin Man (of which I am a HUGE fan of the last two). I could go on, of course, but I think you get the picture.

While watching Gone With the Wind last night (for the 1st time since I was 30), I realized how much this film was tackling the difficult issues of the times, which remain the difficult issues of today. The struggle between man & woman to live in harmony. The horrific struggle of war. Pride, stubbornness, vanity, selfishness, passion, deception, social acceptance, competition, social position, and the list goes on. Yup, there's nothing like struggling to be, is there? I'm assuming here that we've not made all that much progress in this department since 1939, since you can look anywhere on just about any blog & see the rantings of discontent amongst today's modern couples. Same old same old....

I cannot help but wonder why, when we've come so far in technology, we still can't teach humans to be happy. Everyone always wants more, more, more... of everything except taxes & hearing about Brittany's latest antics. But I'm wandering off here... AHEM! I find it incredible that, as a society, we still find it difficult to relate to the opposite sex (or even same sex, to be fair to those in alternative relationships). We now have more available to us than ever, and yet, I don't see that it is doing anything but alienating us or making us simply want more & more & more out of life. Where does the point of true happiness lie? Well, it certainly doesn't lie with how many material things we have. Granted, it's nice to be able to pay the bills, have fun toys to play with, a nice home to return to everyday, a nice car to drive & so on. What amazes me is how quickly & easily people give up true love for all the material crap & then spend the next 10-20 years trying to figure out why they can't find love. Well... DUH! In my humble opinion, pride & greed are the two biggest factors in the breakdown of any marriage, with a sprinkling of selfishness, vanity & stubbornness thrown in for good measure. Trust me, the almighty buck isn't much fun in bed & won't keep you warm on cold nights or massage your neck when it aches.

Margaret Mitchell tried to convey these sentiments in the novel Gone With the Wind, by revealing the frailties, strengths & flaws of each of her characters. Oh Well... you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink....

After GWTW, Turner Classics showed Wuthering Heights, another one of my all-time favorites. Again, greed, pride, selfishness... yada, yada, yada. When will we ever learn?

So, in closing, I suppose I'd just like to say that the reasons I always loved these movies is not only because of the world class acting from amazing actors, but also because of the story & the lessons the authors strive to drive home to us. I learned my lessons well... did you? It's like I always say, "I'm a tree. I can bend." That's what it takes for a great relationship, but it has to be a two way street. Otherwise I think it would be considered spousal/relationship abuse or something, lol. Oh and by the way, my dear hubby has never even seen Wuthering Heights and has only seen GWTW once. He must have been born with insight... or NOT! Who cares? Anyone who has stuck with me for 30 years should be seriously considered for Sainthood.

It's Almost Valentine's Day!

Tell me kids aren't hard on a woman. Here's a picture of me @ 9 months, with my daughter who is now almost 23. She weighed 10 lbs. 2 oz. I can give you a 100% guarantee that not even "going under the knife" will help a woman's stomach that has been stretched beyond the far horizons of normalcy. I do remember my doctor telling me that it was possible to have big babies without weight gain like mine, but at that point he was talking to my hand. I promptly lost all 60 lbs. within 6 months... or was that 12 months? No matter... what the hell did he know? He never actually had a baby & women have been having them forever. Besides, both of my children were practically potty trained & through w/ teething by the time they arrived in the world and, of course, only pooped roses. How cool is that? Oh, and the next picture after the preggie pic (yes, I used to be a brunette until I turned gray w/ children) is of the little darlings of whom I speak... all grown up and livin' large. Actually, it's a picture of two of my three favorite people in the world.... my daughter & my son (he did his share of damage as well, lol).

So, it's almost Venereal Disease Day!!!!!... Ooooops, make that Valentine's Day. That was a serious "old fart moment". Anyway, I consider V-Day the most overdone holiday of the year, in my opinion. I mean, did you ever think about how many people declare their undying love for one another every year... only to retract those sentiments & no longer be with that person the following year? So why does almost everyone put Valentine's Day on a pedestal & act as if it were right up there with Christmas? Because once upon a time... long, long ago, men were required, by the dictations of society, to "court" ladies and once the verbal bond was made, a gentleman would certainly never go back on his word (which was actually about the time the word "cad" came into play). Men & women used to have long courtships, then agree to make a committment to one another about sticking together through thick & thin. Back then, V-Day was a huge deal because most people honored their word and romance was truly romantic.

Today, I look around at all of the failed marriages & relationships just in my "little world" and it just makes me think that V-Day is almost a joke. Frankly, back in the old days, people married someone they knew they liked & would grow to love and that would be someone they could live with when the sex was gone. As archaic as that may seem, it's actually the perfect formula for a good marriage. Being stubborn helps a little as well (as long as you're both stubborn). As in: "You go first"... "No, you first..." Noooooo... you. NNNNooooooo... yooooooouu, and so on.

I can say this because I've been married to the same guy for 30 years now & we're both in for the long-haul. Our's has not always been a perfect or even an easy marriage, as we've weathered many storms that would have thrown most couples overboard into divorce court. There were times we both wanted to give up in total exhasperation, but deep down inside, we've always really liked each other, even though the child-rearing years would often leave us in question of that fact. Let's face it... kids are hard on a marriage, to be sure. Maybe we were just some of the "lucky ones", maybe it was fate, maybe it was an accidental union. Me? I don't really give a hoot as long as our lives continue getting better & better.... like now. The best part of all is when the kids are grown and you can finally be friends again. Life is good!

You know, we always joke & tell people we're each so spoiled that no one else would have either of us, but the truth is that once the kids were gone from home & we began the process of getting to know one another again, we were both pleasantly surprised to find that we still really fit together. Seven to ten years earlier we certainly didn't feel that way. It always seemed like the kids were constantly pulling us in opposite directions with their sports & all of the dozens of other activities. Since we had two children, one of us was always in attendance with one kid while one of us was with the other. We used to pass each other coming & going with a quick peck on the lips & a promise to talk later. It was almost like living with a roomate instead of a spouse. Those were the toughest years, but we somehow we made it through the fog to where we are today. Ten years ago I might have been subconsciously entertaining fantasies about a spousal upgrade, but so was the hubby, and somehow we weathered that storm too. So, tonight I just had to lean over & give him a gentle kiss on the forehead because the man who never even so much as grilled a steak during the first 23 years of marriage, informed me that he is making grilled lobster tails, Caesar salad & some crazy, decadent dessert called "chocolate purses" for me for V-Day. All I can say about this is: "Damn, I'm glad we weathered the storms, because this sure feels like Heaven". You see? He has finally begun treating me as if I am the princess I've always thought myself to be. Smart man..... ;-)