So... You Think You Want To Date Our Daughter

In honor of Valentine's Day I thought I would share with you the application for dating our daughter. Mr. Snooty and several other Dads came up with this back when our children first began dating in high school. Now, before any of you who take things too seriously start to throw fits, I'm telling you ahead of time that this was written in fun only. It. Is. A. Joke. So, don't get your feathers ruffled, okay? It's only meant to have fun with. You should have seen the look on our daughter's face the first time we told her any boy she wanted to go out with, would have to fill this out. It was priceless.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE OUR DAUGHTER

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, family lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME:______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH:_______________

2. HEIGHT: ____________ WEIGHT: _________ I.Q.: _____ G.P.A.: ________

3. Social Security #: _______________ Drivers License #: ______________________

4. Boy Scout Rank: ____________________________

5. Home Address: __________________________ State: ________ Zip: ____________

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? _________________________

If no, Explain: _________________________________________________________

7. Number of years parents married: _______________

8. Do you own a van? _______ A truck with oversize tires? ______ A waterbed? ______

Have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? _______

(If YES is answer to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises.)

9. In 50 words or less please explain what the word "LATE" means to you. _______________________________________________________________________

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10. Church You Attend? _______________________________________

11. When can I interview your Father? ____________________________

12. Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely as all answers are confidential.

(That means I won't tell anyone.)

A. If I were shot, the Last Place on My Body I would want to be wounded is the _____________________________________.

B. If I Were Beaten, The Last Bone I Would Want Broken Is ________________.

C. A Woman's Place Is In The _____________________________.

D. The One Thing I Hope This Application Does Not Ask About Me Is ________________________________________________________

E. When I First Meet A Girl, The Thing I notice About Her First is ___________.

(Note: If Answer E Begins With a T or B discontinue and leave premises.)

F. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _____________________________


I SWEAR THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE INFORMATION I HAVE SUPPLIED IS TRUE, TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH OR DISMEMBERMENT.



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SIGNATURE (that means your name)