Beyond The Age Of Fifty There Should Never Be Any Arms Length Photographs... Unless They Can Be Airbrushed

This morning I rose to find it actually did snow, which makes me wish I was 10 years old again so I could go outside and build a snowman... Anyway, I wrote this post last night & was too tired to finish it


I was desperately trying to work on reshaping my Christmas tree after it being ravaged by Mr. Snoots, being yanked here and shoved there, then left to get dusty in our rented storage unit. Let me just say that it took a heavy beating last year. I might possibly never get it to look right again but being slightly OCD, I probably will. That, or I'll cough up the cash-ola to buy a new one every 3-4 years. It would undoubtedly save a lot of time and trouble every 3-4 years at least.


Anyhoo, I couldn't see well enough to tell what I was doing and then I had a scathingly brilliant idea. I pulled out my headlight and immediately donned it. Voila! Problem solved. However, the people driving around looking at lights in our neighborhood surely thought I was some sort of odd Christmas light bobbing up and down as I worked the tree. I think they even drove by several times. Seriously. I have no drapes in the living room. Only the faux drapes we had put in temporarily when we first moved in here. Uh-huh. Only 25 short years ago.


So I went into a room with a mirror to take a picture of something other than the top of my head or half my face. I was horrified. Truly. With no makeup on, it was especially frightening. I now see my grandmother staring me in the face with a ridiculous headlight on. It's exactly the sort of thing she would have done at this age and yes, I look very much like her. Scary stuff indeed.


Remember how they always used to film Doris Day and Loretta Young with cheesecloth or something over the lens? It softened their faces since they were beginning to age. That's how I want to be photographed from now on and if I can, get a hologram of myself that always looks great. Now, that would be something useful. Trips to Europe? $15,789.00. A hologram? Priceless....


Hey - A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do...



And let me just say that it's colder than a witch's you-know-what tonight. I've already gone through the firewood I brought in last night and I'm dreading having to walk outside three steps to get some more. (I know. My problems are enormous, aren't they?) Tonight it's supposed to drop down to around 21 degrees with a wind chill of 8 degrees. I have all the outdoor plants bundled up for winter so we'll see how it goes, I suppose. The inside plants are already starting to give me dirty looks and whisper about what a bad provider I am. I've been... busy.



They are still predicting snow, but so far I haven't seen so much as a flake (well, not a snowflake anyway). Widiots. The weather idiots. They say 1/2" to 1" by morning but it's now 11:30 PM and as usual, nothing. Geeze. I'd love to have a job like that.

Here it is people.... Are you ready? Our snow has arrived. Maybe those guys got it right for once. After four days of predicting it every day.