Monday, December 21, 2009

I Probably Should Have Left That Outside Wreath Alone....


I seriously think I should have left that outside wreath alone and let it remain unlit. Instead of going to all the trouble of going inside the house to get the kitchen stool, I decided to stand on the ledge of the dining room window as I rigged up the lighting for the wreath. You know. Like I was still 30 years old or something. Just as I was finishing up (successfully), I had this horrible feeling in my gut as I fell in slow motion to the hard cement, landing on my hip. And my right hand. And my left hand (but just a little).


I was laughing so hard at myself (Yes, that's the way I roll...) that it almost didn't hurt. At first. Then the reality of my situation started to sink in. The fact that I do have full blown Osteoporosis struck fear in my heart during the 7 seconds it took for me to hit the ground (5' later) with my hip. Then, my laughter became a mixture of a kind of hysterical laughing/crying as fear crept in.



I was so afraid to try and get up that I just crouched there until I could stop laughing/crying hysterically. Eventually I brought my hysteria under control and slowly began to rise. Ouch. Fine. I might have yelled "Shit!" at the top of my lungs on the way down as the Alien and his family looked on. I cripped into the house and informed Mr. Snoots of my faux pas #3,498,778,111,562. He just looked at me with *that look* and said, "I guess we'd better go ahead and put the knives away now." Haha! Very funny. I think you just need to keep me away from window ledges.


After giving it a few minutes, so I could assess the damage, I decided there are no bones broken but I'm going to be really sore. And, Tuesday night is a huge formal affair we attend every year. I refuse to miss the last big party since I've missed all the others!! So, if I have to limp and take a handful of Advil, I'm going.


I ran to Walgreen's (actually I drove a car) and stocked up on cold packs for my injuries and whatever future injuries may occur (since I'm obviously entering that awkward stage). Now I'm worried about getting hypothermia from all the cold packs. Wouldn't that be bizarro?


Newscaster: "A 57 year old woman with a sagging wattle (waddle) and jowls died from hypothermia today as a result of too many ice packs on injuries she'd received earlier in the evening. Apparently, she was trying to fix her stoopid Christmas lights on the outdoor wreath without the security of a net stepping stool. And thus, providing the opportunity for this accident. Her family will be available after they stop laughing, because it's just *so her*."



I'm certain that no one who knows me would be surprised. It's not like I don't overdo everything. All. The. Time. So, exactly WHEN does your brain convey the message that you're getting older to your body? And when does your body actually begin to accept this information? I'm waiting. I'm still waiting....

16 comments:

Cathy M said...

It's hard to accept that you're getting older, I think I'm half as old as I am. When your brain gets the message that you're older, you stop taking risks and let others do your work. By the way your decorations are beautiful, and your wreath is (almost) worth the pain.

Rian said...

I'm right there with ya as I type this in wrist splints. Isn't it amazing how time slows down when you are hurtling through space toward cement. Beautiful wreath.

T said...

Awww....I'm so sorry (said with a straight face, I promise!).

On a more cheerful note - your window and wreath look beautiful!

Sjn said...

oh, girl, so sorry you're hurting. I hope your wrist is okay, wouldn't want to compromise your golf game right?!
I guess we're supposed to be smarter when we get old, huh hum, so next time get that stool!
PS...that new wreath you made turned out fabulous!

Staci said...

Well, it's beautiful decor!

Hope you are happily hobbling today ~ more happy than hobbling.

These Nine Acres said...

Oh no! Heal fast so you can rock it out at that par-tay! Your house looks divine, BTW ;0) xoxo

The Incredible Woody said...

Sounds exactly like something I would do!!!! Hope you heal quickly!!

I really don't think we want our brains to convey the message that we are getting older. Then it would really mean we are older!!!

Snooty Primadona said...

Thanks everyone. My derriere is what's hurting today. I think the fall put my back out too. But, By Golly, I'm done. So, I guess I have 10 days to heal up before I have to take it all down. That makes me want to cry... I want the holidays to last longer!

BJ Roan said...

You never cease to amaze me. How can you take an incident that could have been horrific, given your health issues, and turn it into a comedic event. LMAO I'm glad you are okay. The decorations do look very nice. Still laughing hysterically here. BJ

Treasia said...

Both the wreaths turned out beautiful. Love all the decorations. So sorry you fell in the process though. Get better soon and enjoy the parties.

Daryl said...

Having, last week, slipped on a grape in my own apartment, and fallen on my left knee and right hand HARD HARD HARD .. 138 lbs and a flat ass came crashing down and I too lay there laughing ., what the heck can you do ... crying doesn't solve anything.. I empathize with you .. GAH its no fun to be a klutz

Tammy said...

I'm glad you were not seriously injured!! And I hope the soreness goes away soon. You decorations look fantastic. I love, love, love the ball wreath you made!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I'm so glad that you weren't seriously hurt. I fell on my ass the last time I tried roller blading. I scraped up my hands and I was pretty sore for a while.
I hope you're all better before Tuesday night and you're able to enjoy yourself.
You're just a decorating Goddess!
Big warm hugs!!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I'm NOT laughing... my lips just have this natural curl.

I am glad we're all here snickering though, it could've been bad. Shame on you for not having Mr. Snooty hold a stool for you.

Wow, what a word veri I got. I didn't even know these letters existed on the keyboard. I've never had to use them...

Diane said...

Oh my gosh, are you sure nothing is broken, Snooty?
I know what you mean about the age thing... I don't think it's hit me yet either.
On a lighter note, your lights look beautiful!
Enjoy your party!

Mental P Mama said...

You and I may be twins separated at birth. And so are our husbands....

 

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