I was laughing so hard at myself (Yes, that's the way I roll...) that it almost didn't hurt. At first. Then the reality of my situation started to sink in. The fact that I do have full blown Osteoporosis struck fear in my heart during the 7 seconds it took for me to hit the ground (5' later) with my hip. Then, my laughter became a mixture of a kind of hysterical laughing/crying as fear crept in.
the Alien and his family looked on. I cripped into the house and informed Mr. Snoots of my faux pas #3,498,778,111,562. He just looked at me with *that look* and said, "I guess we'd better go ahead and put the knives away now." Haha! Very funny. I think you just need to keep me away from window ledges.
After giving it a few minutes, so I could assess the damage, I decided there are no bones broken but I'm going to be really sore. And, Tuesday night is a huge formal affair we attend every year. I refuse to miss the last big party since I've missed all the others!! So, if I have to limp and take a handful of Advil, I'm going.
I ran to Walgreen's (actually I drove a car) and stocked up on cold packs for my injuries and whatever future injuries may occur (since I'm obviously entering that awkward stage). Now I'm worried about getting hypothermia from all the cold packs. Wouldn't that be bizarro?
Newscaster: "A 57 year old woman with a sagging wattle (waddle) and jowls died from hypothermia today as a result of too many ice packs on injuries she'd received earlier in the evening. Apparently, she was trying to fix her stoopid Christmas lights on the outdoor wreath without the security of a