How To Celebrate New Year's Eve Even If Your Husband Goes To Bed Early...

This is sooooo simple and fun! Ready?



Take one bottle of your favorite champagne (mine just happens to be Moet & Chandon - White Star) AND two champagne flutes from your very best crystal. It doesn't even matter if they match as long as they are pretty and you like them.



Fill them both with champagne. Be patient with the foam.



Take them outside in the cold and sit next to your chiminea you've already gotten stoked and going ahead of time.



Clink the two glasses together as if it were you and your hubby. You can even speak for him in a voice that is lower (if you're really crazy) as you clink those lovely champagne flutes. It does add an unexpected effect to the mood of the situation.



After making your toast to one another (You know.... you & your other self) be sure to sip from both flutes. No, of course I didn't do that. I'm not crazy... I went straight for the bottle... or not.



Now you can begin your fireworks display (if you dare) as if you actually know what you're doing. To make it an even more believable event (since you're the only one watching), be sure to keep the water hose running and at the ready in case you need to totally douse the fireworks (as in if the police come searching for you or something catches on fire). Remember your Girl Scout motto: *Be Prepared*. Duh.



Wonder if Mr. Snoots heard that last one... it was a really loud popper. Promptly take out second one to light it and check to see if he's really asleep..... Apparently so. Not a peep from him.


But don't worry. There are probably plenty of other idiots far worse than you, shooting off fireworks, who will most likely get arrested for the violation before you do. However, don't hold me to that slice of advice, okay?



Plug your new iPod Touch earphones into your ears and listen to your favorite tunes while you watch the fire as if it were a TV. Don't forget to take occasional pictures of the *Blue Moon*, even though there are clouds. They're thin anyway. Don't be stoopid. If you have a crappy digital camera you won't get a good shot anyway, so don't waste your energy. Go. To. Bed. Or not.



Continue sipping from both flutes and refilling both flutes until all of said bottle is empty (in between fireworks). Oh, screw the flutes. Take them back inside and just grab the whole bottle. Once the fireworks are spent, take a moment to reflect on how lovely they were. Polish off bottle in a ladylike manner, making sure to wipe your chin. (Secretly, I'd love to be able to do that but I've been raised better. Dammit!) A roadie will surely do, really.




Go to bed now (because you want to save the second bottle of Moet for your hangover on New Year's Day or perhaps for Mother's Day). Can you spell Mimosas? Quit thinking and drag yourself to bed before it's too late.


Happy New Year Everyone!