Friday, January 1, 2010

How To Celebrate New Year's Eve Even If Your Husband Goes To Bed Early...

This is sooooo simple and fun! Ready?

Take one bottle of your favorite champagne (mine just happens to be Moet & Chandon - White Star) AND two champagne flutes from your very best crystal. It doesn't even matter if they match as long as they are pretty and you like them.

Fill them both with champagne. Be patient with the foam.

Take them outside in the cold and sit next to your chiminea you've already gotten stoked and going ahead of time.

Clink the two glasses together as if it were you and your hubby. You can even speak for him in a voice that is lower (if you're really crazy) as you clink those lovely champagne flutes. It does add an unexpected effect to the mood of the situation.

After making your toast to one another (You know.... you & your other self) be sure to sip from both flutes. No, of course I didn't do that. I'm not crazy... I went straight for the bottle... or not.

Now you can begin your fireworks display (if you dare) as if you actually know what you're doing. To make it an even more believable event (since you're the only one watching), be sure to keep the water hose running and at the ready in case you need to totally douse the fireworks (as in if the police come searching for you or something catches on fire). Remember your Girl Scout motto: *Be Prepared*. Duh.

Wonder if Mr. Snoots heard that last one... it was a really loud popper. Promptly take out second one to light it and check to see if he's really asleep..... Apparently so. Not a peep from him.

But don't worry. There are probably plenty of other idiots far worse than you, shooting off fireworks, who will most likely get arrested for the violation before you do. However, don't hold me to that slice of advice, okay?

Plug your new iPod Touch earphones into your ears and listen to your favorite tunes while you watch the fire as if it were a TV. Don't forget to take occasional pictures of the *Blue Moon*, even though there are clouds. They're thin anyway. Don't be stoopid. If you have a crappy digital camera you won't get a good shot anyway, so don't waste your energy. Go. To. Bed. Or not.

Continue sipping from both flutes and refilling both flutes until all of said bottle is empty (in between fireworks). Oh, screw the flutes. Take them back inside and just grab the whole bottle. Once the fireworks are spent, take a moment to reflect on how lovely they were. Polish off bottle in a ladylike manner, making sure to wipe your chin. (Secretly, I'd love to be able to do that but I've been raised better. Dammit!) A roadie will surely do, really.

Go to bed now (because you want to save the second bottle of Moet for your hangover on New Year's Day or perhaps for Mother's Day). Can you spell Mimosas? Quit thinking and drag yourself to bed before it's too late.

Happy New Year Everyone!


Anonymous said...

Party on Snooty. My New Year was almost that exciting.

Snooty Primadona said...

Oh Yeah! I am such a Party Animal! Or not. At least I am in my own mind, lol!

Heather said...

I love it! Hubbie set off several rounds of fireworks which delighted the kids. It was even better this year, because the snow kept me from worrying about burning someone's house down.

These Nine Acres said...

Perfect! Some days spending a New Year's Eve alone with the peace and quiet of my own thoughts sounds extraordinarily pleasant.

Happy New Year, my friend!

Sjn said...

um... shooting off fireworks alone? is that like swimming alone? something we shouldn't do? Oh well, I have been swimming alone at our lake when I was the only one home. You go girl!
No party poopers can stop you!
Happy 2K10 to you! Maybe this is the year you will move into that townhouse?!

Grandma Nina said...

Snoot, you're so funny. And I completely relate. My husband also goes to bed early, so I had an egg nog martini (just one) and watched the ball drop on TV. (Too cold here to sit outside). Whatever happened to the days of telling each other "Happy New Year" and kissing? Oh well, I enjoyed my martini - by myself!

Suburban Princess said...

That was our NYE a couple of years ago - cept I was pregnant and hubby had to work the next no booze or just about identical!

The Incredible Woody said...

At least you don't have to worry about cleaning up the mess from the party...which I still haven't done:)

BJ Roan said...

Your solo celebration sounds fun! We made it until the ball dropped in NY. We pretended it was midnight in our time zone and went to bed. lol

Tammy said...

Hahaha, you crack me up! I checked for that moon so I could take some pictures but our cloud cover was too thick.

Happy New Year!

Mental P Mama said...

LOL...were you spying on me???

Treasia Stepp said...

Exactly what time did you arrive at my uno party and not tell me? LOL.

Blarney said...

Okay. It was like -1 here on New Year's Eve. There was no friggin' way I was going to head out to our fire pit (as lovely as it is), drag wood from the snow covered area over to the pit, dig out the pit because it's burried in snow then attempt to light it with my frozen ass shivering while trying to hold the lighter fluid in one steady stream into the logs to even get her started. Yeah ~ that would have been some fireworks alright! No sir-eee, I will just uncork a bottle of wine at about 8 and stay up until 10:30 to discover that our local channels do not feel we need to watch any sort of ball dropping ceremony from other parts of the US because we don't have one in our neck of the woods worth putting on the air. I mean why would we want to have some entertainment out here in the middle of nowhere. I gotta move to your neck of the woods.

Beth Dunn said...

U R Adorable! I wish I could have been there. xoxo


Green-Eyed Momster said...

This is so funny! I love your style. I had a lot of whiskey and although I don't remember losing count of the shots...I did.
Hubby passed out and I did too but I stayed up long enough to hear the local fireworks display. My girls told me that I tried to take a picture of them with my cell phone camera but I don't rememeber that! I did see the moon but it didn't look blue.
Wish I could have been there to party with you!

TSannie said...

Well that sounded like just about the perfect New Year! Happy happy, my friend!

WP is ~offer~ as in I ~offer~ you my best thought for a wonderful 2010 to you and yours. So very appropriate!

brneyedgal967 said...

Oh God, I wish I had been there. I have had so much going on that I haven't been in touch with you. Believe me, I have had conversations with my "Mental Snooty" in the middle of the night when I knew it was too late to even attempt to call. Call me crazy. You know I am. I read your Nablapomo on an a many hour Snooty fest to get caught up, went to comment and my damn computer locked up. I'd call you now but there's a 50/50 chance you're up at 2:45 am and and even lesser chance that IF you're up that you're coherent... LOL. So I'll try to call you tomorrow at somewhat of a decent time. You're not going to believe the shit that's been going on with me, and if I was blogging again it would boggle your mind. But I'm done with blogging. Foster kids and blogging don't mix per DHS. Gah.

Love you. Miss you. Good Friend.


Snooty Primadona said...

Tammy B-E-G: Actually, while the kids were home (for two full weeks) I went to auto pilot for kid mode, so I didn't get much sleep. I'm still trying to shift back to the no kids mode, but the son just left yesterday. Guess I'll give it time. But, I'm exhausted. I just can't sleep. This too shall pass, lol. It's like that every time they are home. Apparently I operated on auto pilot for many years & now it just kicks in on its own. Give me a ringy-ding. I don't have a phone in my bedroom & Mr. Snoots has never in his life awakened to answer a ringing phone, so you're safe. ;-)

Right now I'm in the smack dab middle of trying to put Christmas away and I keep wondering why it's so easy for other people and not for me. Can you spell c-l-u-t-t-e-r?

snooty daughter said...

Always a party when you're around :D glad you made the best of it!


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