Trouble's Rule #2: Never try to hide your dinner from me because I'll make you sorry for it if you do. Just go ahead and feed me first so I'll leave you all alone. You know it's easier this way. Trust me.
Trouble's Rule #3: When I stand around the fireplace meowing (or whining), is there a question about what I want? Get that fire going, Pronto! Don't you people ever use heat?
Trouble's Rule #4: When humans try to take pictures of you, always make them work hard for a decent picture. Give them the same pose every time you hear that sound of the digital camera coming on. It drives them nuts!
Trouble's Rule #5: During cold weather, only go outside long enough to roll in the dirt while getting said dirt good and up into the hair. Go immediately back inside. It's cold! And, don't forget to spread the
Trouble's Rule #6: I get first dibbs on all freshly cleaned furniture. Especially when I've just rolled in the dirt.
Trouble's Rule #7: Consider yourself blessed if you've found one or more of my hairs in your glass of wine or whatever that stuff is that you drink.
Trouble's Rule #8: Always bring your prey home before losing or eating it. The humans get so excited over it.
Trouble's Rule #9: When I stand in the middle of the hall meowing loudly it means that I don't like closed doors. I don't care what kind of mess you're trying to hide from the abundance of non-existent visitors. I like open doors! Get it? Got it? Good!
Trouble's Rule #10: If you don't want a paw print racing stripe on your car then get a garage.
Bonus: Trouble's Rule #11: If your current humans don't treat you like a Queen then feel free to scout out the neighborhood in search of a new crib. All open windows and doors are fair game.