My Latest In A Long Line Of Exercise Toys... And It's Already Working!

For months now I've been hearing the praises of the new exercise tennis shoes but have hesitated to buy them because of the hefty ridiculous price. I don't mind spending $125.00 on a pair of shoes I'll wear a lot, but for exercise? I don't think so. I only partake in exercise sporadically.

So last week while I was at my doctors office for my 6 month checkup, I was reading a magazine in the waiting area that was for vegetarians and came across an ad for exercise sandals called "Trim Treads", an outfit out of Florida. The cost is only $39.99 and they come in a variety of fun colors. 

You start out wearing them for 30 minutes per day, gradually increasing the exercise time as you become accustomed to them. Yesterday I wore them for the suggested 30 minutes, but most of that time was utilized adjusting myself to walking properly in them. Mr. Snoots actually laughed at me. Okay, fine. It was rather comical, in an awkward sort of way. You walk around on the flat part of the sole while you try to keep from running into walls and door frames. Today I wore them for 30 minutes and really felt them working my leg muscles in every single place you could imagine. I have the distinct feeling that I'm going to be in pain tomorrow. Still, this is like the easiest way ever, to exercise your legs, strengthen your *core* and align your back. 

You get the exact same results from these sandals that you do from the exercise tennis shoes, only the cost is much less. Besides, you can wear these while cleaning house, folding laundry,  ironing clothes, preparing dinner, and a number of other indoor activities. You just have to be careful that you don't lose your balance, therefore falling to or fro.  I think that these sandals are a great way to decide if you really want to invest in exercise tennis shoes that cost an arm and leg. If you don't like the sandals then you definitely won't like the tennis shoes.

Nope. They are certainly not paying me to say this but perhaps they should...

I can't help but wonder if I walked around in them on my hands, if it would help to firm my upper arms.  Most likely not, but I'd like to see someone come up with some kind of workable plan to address that particular flab issue. I mean, if I raise my arm to wave, I know there is the distinct possibility that I could possibly knock myself out if the upper arm flab happens to hit my face. I'm just saying....

Exercise And Torture... Aren't They The Same Thing?

This was one of my very first posts that a whole three people read, over a year ago. Since I've gone and done the same thing to myself again, I felt it was worth posting again, especially since I don't think I can improve upon this piece…. or my physical pain.

At least once a year, I get this wacky idea in my head & decide that I need to exercise. I get visions that if I exercise I'm going to be trim & beautiful again. Yeah, right! I think I'm finally learning that this is never a good idea for me, because I seem to hurt myself every time, rendering my body incapable of moving at all. Right now, I'm a useless wet noodle and it even hurts to take deep breaths or stretch. I'm now a whining, groaning lump of flesh and bones, completely unable to do anything.

"How did I come to this?" you ask. Well, I have a good friend who recently bought a new and very expensive elliptical machine and was kind enough to give me her old Torso Track (AKA: The Torture Track). Immediately, I had those grandeur visions of once again being a "flat belly". Oh, the thoughts that raced through my mind! That is, until I had my first session on the beast. I was amazed that I could do 30 repetitions, but I did, all the while thinking about how great I was going to look.

Wrong again. I awoke this morning with a pain in my gut that I can't even describe. I couldn't move, so I just lay in bed lifelessly for a few moments, thinking. I mean I had things to do, places to go, people to see. Yet, I felt as if I'd been stricken with some horrible, debilitating disease that was probably going to be named after me, for being the first one to have it.

Then, I remembered my DUMB ASS actions of the previous day. Guess I should have opted for the slow start, like maybe only 10 repetitions instead of 30, but at the time, it didn't hurt. So, I slowly began to roll over in order to basically roll out of bed with as little muscle movement as possible. The result: I rolled off the bed and slammed to the floor with my head landing in the wastebasket I keep at the bedside. Oh Yeah! That was fun. So, hubby strolls into the room at this very moment and asks why I'm on the floor with my head in the wastebasket. "Are you sick?" he asks. Unable to speak, I could only point to the Torso Track that lay by the dresser, laughing at me. Hubby says "Uh-Huh", chuckles, and leaves the room.

Okay, fine! Now let's try the next step. Getting up and standing. Ooooohhhh! Owww! I managed to pick up my silk robe (which felt like a ton of bricks) and put it on, then I baby-stepped my way to the den and my computer. I've been here ever since because I'm afraid to move, afraid of the inevitable return of the stabbing pains. Apparently, I've either pulled or strained my poor, sleeping stomach muscles and now they're protesting at such abuse. Wait - better yet, make that RIOTING!

Now, you'd think at my age I'd know better. Wrong! And this isn't the first time I've done this kind of thing. I've done this to myself so many times that my Dear Hubby no longer offers any sort of sympathy or back rubs or anything except the giving of smirks while shaking his head. Thanks honey! Although I can't blame him, really. I've had nearly every machine known to woman and I seem to always get hurt, to the point I have to discontinue any sort of exercise for weeks until I'm healed. I've been a DUMB ASS about exercise for years.

Before I met my husband, I was a ski instructor in Aspen and the picture of health. I loved skiing and I literally lived and breathed it. When ski season was over, I spent Summers hiking and backpacking and fishing on the Frying Pan and Roaring Fork rivers, up to Snowmass Lake, Maroon Bells, and the many wonderful places around Aspen. I could do anything back then. I was young and in the greatest shape of my life. Unfortunately, when I moved to Texas, I never found anything in the way of exercise that I could stick to and yet, my DUMB ASS brain still thinks I'm young and allows me do these silly things to hurt my DUMB ASS. I'm not 23 anymore. Hell, I don't even feel I'm 56. Today, I feel like I'm 80 and on my deathbed. Why doesn't our brain age simultaneously with our bodies? Right now, if I could move, I'd give myself a swift kick in the arse, but I'd probably hurt myself again.... "Honey," I yell out. "Can you go to the drug store and buy me an old fart's walker, pleeeease?" All I hear is the sound of one hand clapping.... Yes, I think I'm beginning to *get it*.

I Need An Opinion On Rowing Machines... Any Expert Opinions Out There?

Yesterday we had a crew of workers at our house to take out a couple of dead trees and trim the ones that are still alive. (insert snort here) After about 15 minutes of listening to the high-pitched buzz of their electric saws, I had to leave for the remainder of the day. Our cat Trouble looked at me as if I were a traitor and, well... I was. I left her here to deal with the noise alone. She's still ticked off at me as I write.

So, Mr. Snoots and I have been discussing exercise, which is rather amusing because I happen to know that the man has not ever exercised one day in all the 31 years we've been married, and he is still in relatively good shape. I have run the gamut of whatever was currently popular over these years and I've gone through many exercise machines. I've bought them all only to discard them after they sat dormant for an allotted amount of time. It's too hot here to even walk at 6:00 AM in the morning here in the summer, so I'm forced to seek alternative measures.

The one machine I would have loved and benefited from was the Skier's Edge which runs up around $4000.00 I could never bring myself to spend that much on anything, much less a ski machine for the one week I skied every year, right?

So, as the Mister and I began discussing what we wanted, we came to agree upon a rowing machine. However, the choices these days are totally daunting and have my head in a spin. Therefore, I thought I'd put it to the ones I trust… my personal posse of fellow bloggers!

We want one that gives us a total cardiovascular workout that includes all areas of the body. Obviously, living in West Texas (the desert) we have no place to actually go out to a body of water and row. I mean we could chase the damn mirage in the distance for days & days before we died. That's not exactly the plan we had in mind. So, we are confined to a machine that we can both utilize.

We are both totally convinced that getting into better shape will also help us with our golf games and I'm certain no one has ever come to this conclusion before us. Uh-Huh. In reality, I suppose that we're both scared about our future and are hoping to prolong the years we have left on this earth. Yes, we both just recently woke up to this fact. Hey - at least we finally woke up, right?

I'm also not willing to spend over $300.00 to $400.00 just in case this big idea flops and we go back to pretending we exercise instead of actually getting up and doing it. Yes, call me crazy, but that's my zany plan.

Okay. So, what do you think? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on? Is anyone there?

My New Exercise Toy... One More In A Long Line of Failures

Over the years I think I've bought just about everything that has ever been offered for exercising at home. I've had the Step System, which lasted one session before I realized I hated it.


I've also had a number of different exercise cycles, none of which I liked enough to use more than twice. I also had a rowing machine, which I loved, but it broke and couldn't be repaired. I had another *method* that I can't remember the name of, but it consisted of a slick surfaced mat, cloth booties and a video. You skated back & forth on it and I liked it for a while. Then I didn't like it anymore.


I've also had a ridiculous amount of workout tapes like Jane Fonda's series, The Skiing Workout (which damn near killed me), and yes, I even bought a Richard Simmons called "Sweating To The Oldies". Once I saw it, I couldn't imagine what I must have been thinking. I laughed so hard I couldn't do the exercises. Then, I bought a Pilates Set but it was just too damned boring and moved too slow. I did watch it all the way through one time, but didn't exercise. Just watched. I think I fell asleep, so it did have one good purpose. Inducing sleep. Not great for exercise.

I used to race-walk for a couple of years but got bored with going alone. I also walked miles and miles and miles over the years. Then I went through the bicycling stage, which I really got into for a while. Until the daily temps hit triple digits. Not wanting to die, I gave it up for the summer and never picked it up again.


My last foray into the world of exercise was The Torso Track (otherwise known as The Torture Track). We all know how miserably that turned out. Six months later, I think I'm finally healed from that fiasco. What happens when I finally heal? Yes, you guessed it. I always decide to try something new in an effort to save my poor aging body from complete & utter ruin.


So, in sticking with the idiot purchases I've made in the past, I now have a new exercise toy. You know how when you're on an airplane and looking at the Sky Mall magazine, and everything in it looks to be something you desperately need? Uh-Huh. Well, once I saw this little baby, I just had to have it.


Let me formally introduce you to my latest attempt at getting in shape:









Time will tell whether this little machine does what I want it to do. However, it fits under my computer desk, which makes it convenient. I did 10 miles on it yesterday and so far, I actually like it. I also did 5 miles with my arms. This may just turn out to be the thing I've looked for all these years. Like I said, time will tell.

Love The One You're In....

A very clever & witty writer, leendaluu over at Wit's End started a Mr. Linky called "Love The One You're In". Your body, that is. Her article is excellent and presented me with some issues I've struggled with all of my life, so I decided to jump in feet first and bare my soul.

I was born a healthy 9 lbs. and 6 oz. and from the day I was born, everyone in my family referred to me as chubby or plump. Now I find this amusing because since going through old pictures to find my chubby pictures, I couldn't find any, which has left me perplexed and scratching my head. Hmmmm... Now, the only time I really ever gained weight was when I was away at boarding school. Go figure. Mashed potatoes and bread with meals every night, three fattening meals a day. Okay, so I got fairly heavy by the time I graduated.

Right now I'm 5'4" and weigh 135, which I'm pretty much pleased with. When I graduated from high school, I weighed the exact same weight, give or take 5 pounds. And yet my mother (The Brown Recluse) was disgusted at how LARGE I'd gotten while at school. The day I left school and flew home, she had an appointment for me with her diet pill doctor. This started me on half a lifetime of doing drugs in order to stay thin. I had no idea at the time and I didn't have a choice. The first pills I became addicted to were called Bamadex Sequels by Lederle. I mean really, who can forget their first addiction love? From there, I graduated several years later to Dexedrine. Those were fun and made me think I could do anything. Actually, I could almost move mountains, in my own mind anyway. My college professors weren't nearly as impressed with me as I was.

I'm thinking that you're all beginning to get the picture, right? I eventually had to resort to buying Bennies (Benzedrine) and the like, illegally, and did so for many years. I was ultimately able to stop although that was more of a money issue than anything else. Needing a new addiction, I became addicted to racquet ball and running and health foods, which lasted a good many years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was 100% affected by what the people in my life thought of me and whatever weight I was and I let them dictate to me what I should look like, when I was actually okay with how I looked. That's how I was raised. I put my heart and my health at risk, under the guidance of The Brown Recluse, for striving to be what other people (including her) thought I should be. I was still just an impressionable kid and had not yet discovered that I had a little steel in my spine.

I never once bugged either of our children about their weight and they are both two of the most confident people I know, in mind & body. I wanted them to never suffer any of the humiliations I had suffered, and they haven't.

So, I guess the upshot of this post is that after worrying about my weight nearly my entire life, I believe that at 55 years of age, I have finally come to like & accept the way I look. It feels as if mind, body and spirit have all finally come together in harmony and I am loving every minute of it. I, at long last, have come to love the body I'm in and it's damn well time too. I don't have all that much time left to enjoy it.

I've deprived myself of a lifetime of good food, but am finally beginning to enjoy it as I relish in who and what I am.

Whoever you are, don't ever let anyone influence the way you feel about yourself unless it's in a positive way. Life has enough dark twists & turns without allowing others to color the way we see ourselves. Celebrate who you are and the body that houses your soul and your heart. You are who you are and that, in the end, is all that really matters....

It won't matter a bit when you're dead, now will it?

Exercise & Torture... Aren't they the same thing?

At least once a year, I get this wacky idea in my head & decide that I need to exercise. I get visions that if I exercise, I'm going to be trim & beautiful again. Yeah, right! I think I'm finally learning that this is never a good idea for me, because I seem to hurt myself every time, rendering my body incapable of moving at all. Right now, I'm a useless wet noodle and it even hurts to take deep breaths or stretch. I'm now a whining, groaning lump of flesh & bones, completely unable to do anything.

"How did I come to this?" you ask. Well, I have a good friend who recently bought a new & very expensive elliptical machine and was kind enough to give me her old Torso Track (aka The Torture Machine). Immediately, I had those grandeur visions of once again being a "flat belly". Oh, the thoughts that raced through my mind! That is, until I had my first session on the beast. I was amazed that I could do 30 repetitions, but I did, all the while thinking about how great I was going to look.

Wrong again. I awoke the this morning with a pain in my gut that I can't even describe. I couldn't move, so I just laid in bed lifelessly for a few moments, thinking. I mean, I had things to do, places to go. Yet, I felt as if I'd been stricken with some horrible, debilitating disease that was probably going to be named after me, for being the first one to have it.

Then, I remembered my DUMB ASS actions of the previous day. Guess I should have opted for the slow start, like maybe only 10 repetitions instead of 30, but at the time, it didn't hurt. So, I slowly began to roll over in order to basically roll out of bed with as little muscle movement as possible. The result: I rolled off the bed & slammed to the floor with my head landing in the wastebasket I keep at the bedside. Oh Yeah! That was fun. So, hubby strolls into the room at this very moment and asks why I'm on the floor with my head in the wastebasket. "Are you sick?" he asks. Unable to speak, I could only point to the Torso Track which laid by the dresser, laughing at me. Hubby says "Uh-Huh", chuckles, and leaves the room.

Okay, fine! Now let's try the next step. Getting up & standing. Ooooohhhh! Owww! I managed to pick up my silk robe (which felt like a ton of bricks) and put it on, then I baby-stepped my way to the den & my computer. I've been here ever since because I'm afraid to move; afraid of the inevitable return of the stabbing pains. Apparently, I've either pulled or strained my poor, sleeping stomach muscles & now they're protesting at such abuse. Wait - better yet, make that RIOTING!

Now, you'd think at my age I'd know better. Wrong! And this isn't the first time I've done this kind of thing. I've done this to myself so many times that my Dear Hubby no longer offers any sort of sympathy or back rubs or anything except the giving of smirks while shaking his head. Thanks honey! Although, I can't really blame him. I've had nearly every machine known to woman and I seem to always get hurt, to the point I have to discontinue any sort of exercise for weeks until I'm healed. I've been a DUMB ASS about exercise for years.

Before I met my husband I was a ski instructor in Aspen & the picture of health. I loved skiing & I literally lived & breathed it. When ski season was over, I spent Summers hiking & backpacking & fishing on the Frying Pan and Roaring Fork rivers, up to Snowmass Lake, Maroon Bells, and the many wonderful places around Aspen. I could do anything back then. I was young & in the greatest shape of my life. Unfortunately, when I moved to Texas, I never found anything in the way of exercise that I could stick to and yet, my DUMB ASS brain still thinks I'm young & allows me do these silly things to hurt my DUMB ASS. I'm not 23 anymore. Hell, I don't even feel I'm 55. Today, I feel like I'm 80 and on my deathbed. Why doesn't our brain age simultaneously with our bodies? Right now, if I could move, I'd give myself a swift kick, but I'd probably hurt myself again.... "Honey," I yell out. "Can you go to the drug store & buy me an old fart's walker, pleeeease?" All I hear is the sound of one hand clapping.... Yup, I think I'm beginning to "get it".