An Open Heart Letter To My Blog Friends....

Dearest Blog Friends:


I've been gone most of the day today, then we went out to dinner at a favorite local eatery with our son (who's here until Sunday) and our two best *friend couples*. After dinner we went over to the Galveston friends' house for a while. I relayed the story from yesterday about my new (who knows? it may be one of the old ones) Troll and had them rolling on the floor. However, I didn't take any pictures or elaborate any further because I have lately sensed a bit of boredom when I talk about my blog. The Galveston friends read my blog on rare occasion, but both have very busy lives and are seldom online. The other couple doesn't know or care what my blog is, although I love them both. The wife doesn't even do email. *Sigh*



Driving home I began to think about how important you have all become to me in my everyday life. I checked my previous posts to be sure and discovered that I began this whole thing February 1, 2008. Since that date my life has changed drastically and much of that has had to do with all of you. I've been trying to think of a way to put this without sound all sappy, but alas, I can't. For nearly a year I have been baring my soul, sharing my childhood horrors, venting, and revealing stories of my life that I have never before told. I have read your own stories and posts and sharings of your lives, and I have been totally captivated and often amused by them all. If I were not enthralled or entertained, I wouldn't be *reading* you. I'm dead serious.


You, my blog friends, know me better than even my best friends, because you know my heart. You have read and commented on stories that not even my best friends want to hear (or have heard), and you have made my heart and my will and my inner strength more powerful than ever. I just don't think there is any way I can ever repay any of you and yet, I feel as if I owe you my very life. Do you have any idea how much you have all saved me on therapy? Good God! You've all saved me from being institutionalized (so to speak)!!!!


When my best friend died suddenly from complications with her diabetes in 2006, I kind of went into a depression of sorts, often not leaving the house for a week at a time. I lost touch with other friends and acquaintances because I was totally into my grief. I wouldn't even answer the phone or the door when people called or came by. Her death shook me to my very core and I was totally lost without her. Suze was my lightning rod, my partner-in-crime, my grounding wire and so much more. I held her up while her son was deployed to Iraq and she held me up as I struggled to help my son through his addictions. We were best friends for 25 years. That's the longest amount of time I've ever had a best friend in my life. We loved each other like sisters and of course, we got mad at one another like sisters. There were times we didn't talk for weeks at a time for whatever reasons, but it was okay. We both knew it was and we were good with it. So, needless to say... I was a devastated mess for quite a while after her untimely death. She was only 50 years old. Her husband had moved on and was dating someone but I was still wallowing in my grief. It was a decidedly dark time for me, although I could usually put up a good front when I had to. I just couldn't do it for very long. I was still in so much pain. Those of you who grew up in *normal* homes (whatever that is) probably don't understand what it meant to me to finally have a friend for longer than a few years. It was a whole new experience for me. Then suddenly, Suze was just gone. Poof! Finis. History.





Then, in January of 2008 I bought a copy of MORE magazine and it changed my life. There was an article about women who blog, which reconnected me with a childhood friend, KK of Midlife Gals. I emailed her. She emailed me back. I said I loved her blog. She said I should try it, so I did. I have not yet regretted it. In fact, in spite of the sprinkling of nasty trolls, blogging has become a real treasure in my life. KK... I owe you a lot for your encouragement and support. KK knew Suze growing up and knew of her passing and she felt that I needed an outlet for my grief. KK... you have no idea what an explosion you created in me! In a good way, of course. I owe you so much more than a lunch of steak & frittes. I will make up for that sometime in the very near future, my friend.


Soooooooo... although none of you may know it, you have had a very profound and positive effect on the course that my life would eventually take. Nearly one year skipping down the yellow brick road and things are getting so much better. I will always miss my friend and sister-in-life, but you have all helped to ease my pain in more ways than I can ever express. You all have my undying devotion.


Thank You! From the deepest recesses of my heart I thank you with all I've got. I am your biggest and most loyal fan... all of you. And you can take that to the bank.

Friends Are Rather Like Martinis. So... Do You Like Your Friends *Up* Or *On The Rocks*?

Frankly, like my Martinis, I like my friends *Up*, but am more than willing to listen with an open heart when my friends are served *On The Rocks*. In other words, I prefer for my friends to be happy & upbeat, but certainly don't ever turn them away just because they're having *down times* that don't fit into my scheme of things. I'm a friend all the way and I'm not wishy-washy about it. Jeeze, I never liked anyone because they were perfect, but rather because of their strange or abnormal quirks & idiosyncrasies. I suppose I've always sought out the oddities in people. I'm not really sure why, but suspect it has something to do with the assorted cast of characters I was raised around.



Since The Brown Recluse didn't ever care for family, she was a study in opposites when it came to friends. Even I must admit that growing up in her shadow had its perks. Our home was always filled with interesting, artistic, musical, funny, eccentric, eclectic, and sometimes dangerous people. This was especially so when we moved to Aspen. It was never anywhere even remotely resembling a so-called normal family life, but I didn't know many other kids growing up there, that did have the norm. Aspen is a unique place, or rather, it used to be. Back in the 1960's it was grand and filled with the most colorful cast of infamous & famous people.



The Brown Recluse was friends with Leon Uris, who was a frequent visitor at our house. His son, Mike, was a good friend of The Prince's and I had a major crush on him, not understanding the vast difference in our backgrounds. Still, he was cute & funny and always had great pot entertainment resources.



Another frequent visitor was a senior level ski instructor, Bert Cross, who was also known as *Dirty Bertie Cross*. He'd once been a famous ski instructor in Stowe, Vermont as well as Squaw Valley (which meant he'd bagged dozens of Snow Bunnies), but was also a fairly good artist. When I was 15 TBR let him do my portrait, minus the usual post portrait sex antics, of course. I remember he used to come over early mornings with what he always called "Boo-Boos", which were basically coffee with whatever liquor he had at the moment. I'm fairly certain he wasn't too particular at that point in his life. He also had a lot to do with my early skiing lessons. The man had patience of steel.



Another local character that frequented our abode was the head of The Aspen Underground Ski School... Ralph Jackson. The man is a legend in stories of anyone who lived in Aspen back then, to this day. Ralph was as old as the hills (although no one actually knew his real age) but taught trick skiing back before any of it was a sport. His students were the ones who created all of the events that came to be part of the Olympics, as well as nationals & regional championships. This man was a true pioneer in the world of skiing and yet, is seldom remembered as such, in most skiing circles anyway. He also had a profound influence on my skiing technique, for which I'm forever grateful to him. He taught me to do helicopters off the roll-jump. So, clearly, the man was a genius. Always has been. Always will be. Whether anyone has ever heard of him or not.



So.... I must say that I've always been rather partial to the eccentric & quirky, as they seem ever so much more fun than the mundane. Call me crazy, but... I will argue with you to the death. As bad as The Brown Recluse was, she always provided my brother & I with a diverse group of people, although none of them were what I'd consider role models. I'll go into the *dangerous types* at a later date. It was enchanting to me, being around these people and I always thought that my life was good. Hey - what the Hell did I know? I was just a kid.... And, Aspen was magical back in the 1960's.

To Be Continued...

Oh, and by the by... I Am Back. I Think. Alright, I'm praying. I think the back is back. For Now.