Mosquito Bites, Really? When We're On Water Rationing?

I mean, how is that even possible? Oh, yes. That's right. Someone isn't abiding by the rules the law. Now, that's some surprise, isn't it?


I'm truly irritated I was under the false impression that I didn't need my *patches* to protect me from the little devil mosquitoes during a freaking drought. Evidently, someone in the *hood* has standing water and it isn't us, I assure you. We've been excessively diligent in our conservative watering efforts.


I thought I had done a post on the mosquito patches I swear, but for the life of me, I'm unable to find that particular post. So, let me reintroduce you to my very best friends. The *Don't Bite Me* patches. Last summer during our flooding rains, I discovered this product and I am a total fan/supporter. I never received even one mosquito bite while wearing said patches.


These patches are:

100% B1 vitamin
waterproof
deet free
lasting up to 36 hours
safe for use on children

made in the USA
natural, simple, safe

And yes, they SHOULD be paying me for my endorsements, but they aren't. However, I've never found anything this fool proof. Worry free is the way I prefer to be......

I Forgot To Take Pictures.... And Let Me Introduce You To My New Little Friend

Yes, I was so busy talking to people that I forgot to take pictures. What a surprise. Anyway, Mr. Snoots had a great time talking with and seeing old friends and it was a great party with wonderful food. I did have a friend take a picture of us with one of our closest friends.


Now, let me introduce you to my new little friend. Mr. Snoots heard about this on one of the forums he monitors. We couldn't find it anywhere here so we got it on the internet. It's called *Don't Bit Me!* patches. I have never found anything that works like these patches to keep mosquitoes from biting you. And, if you've been reading this blog for a while, you know what a battle I've fought against the mosquitoes. These patches are nothing short of totally amazing.

The best part of all is that the patch only releases vitamin B1. There are no other chemicals of any kind. The B1 apparently neutralizes all of those attractive odors being emitted from my body. Of course, you're supposed to apply the patch 2 hours before being exposed to the little biting devils, so I just put one on when I get up in the mornings and remove it before bed. It works until you take it off. How wonderful is that? It certainly beats the heck out of covering myself in 90% Deets, which couldn't possibly be good for you. I've been using the patches for a month now and I have not had one single mosquito bite during a summer when we've had so much rain...

Consumer Warning.... Don't Buy Into This Scam....

I've decided to do the NaBloPomo thing for the month of June. Yes, I must be insane, but I'm really trying to blog every day, so bear with me, okay?

About a week ago Mr. Snoots was at Sam's Club shopping for me (love that man!) and came across a relatively new item for people like me, who are constantly plagued with the itching pain of Mosquito bites. Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know what a huge magnet I am for mosquitoes. My blood is the nectar they long for. I once had more than 60 bites all over my body, at one time. So, he finds this dandy little new invention and brings it home to me. I get all all excited, thinking that I might finally have something I don't actually have to apply to my skin. Wrong. Oh. So. Wrong.

Last night I was on the patio watering plants and bird watching, wearing my new "OFF" protector and received several new mosquito bites. There wasn't even a breath of wind. So, I'm telling you now DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY! Another interesting thing is that when doing a Google search, I found the same product available through different web sites that has a wide range of prices. For instance, Amazon offers the starter pack for $10.00 plus S/H (one seller even offering it with 4 refills for $24.15!), Cabela's offers the starter pack for $6.99 plus S/H, Overstock Drugstore offers the starter pack for $9.30 plus S/H and refills (2 per pack) for $3.99. You must also keep in mind that it runs on two AA batteries, which, of course, increases the cost even more.


Personally, I think companies like Johnson & Johnson do their testing on anyone they can get to do it. What they need is people like me, who have the body chemistry that attracts the little demons. Mr. Snoots can be outside with me when I receive the vampire like bites, and he never gets a thing. Do you see? We have different body chemistry and I'm the one they go for.
 

I absolutely refuse to spend another summer either covered in clothing or covered in Deetz, which would mean I'd be spending the entire summer indoors. Since that's not going to happen, I guess it's back to the 98.11% Deets that is in OFF! Deep Woods Sportsmen Insect Repellent. That can't be a good thing, can it?


Honestly, when I play golf I don't have to worry about mosquitoes because of all the Martins that eat mosquitoes. They have dozens of Martin Houses all over the golf course and lots of still bodies of water, which is normally a huge breeding ground the tiny devils. Apparently, no one in my neighborhood has a Martin House.


As for treating the bites once you get them, I've found nothing sold over-the-counter or from prescription, that works....


Aveeno Anti-Itch Cream only relieves the itching for a couple of minutes, then the painful itching returns. Scratch that.

Benadryl doesn't work either. Yes, it does relieve the itching pain for a few moments but then you have to reapply.


Coastal Solutions, Inc. has a product called Bite Blaster. I couldn't feel any relief with this product although they claim it has Aloe Vera in it.


I tried another product called "Chigard" which is made by a Dallas company called The Colgin Companies. Perhaps it works swimmingly on chigger bites but it doesn't do diddly for mosquito bites.
 

The entire industry is a racket, I tell you! The only thing I've ever found (and never makes a claim that its product works best) is the good old Aloe Vera plant. It is Mother Nature's best healing agent and I carry a stalk in a plastic zip-lock baggie wherever I go....


Honestly, it more important than make-up....

Let Me Introduce You To Another Of My Little Friends...

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I've so far tried just about every anti-aging cream on the market, with little or no positive results.... until now. This new cream I've been trying seems to really be working, especially on my saggy neck skin. I hate my saggy neck skin (AKA Turkey Neck)! Back in the day, it was a bit more fondly referred to as a woman's *wattle*.


I've gotten to where I can look at my reflection in the mirror and actually *overlook* all the *saggy-ness*... most of the time. Then reality sets in and I get so depressed about it that I could cry or puke (and often do). Obviously, I'm not the perfect poster child for aging gracefully.


Then, I saw an ad on the internet for this new face and neck cream called RESTORE (snake) Venom Compound and yes, I paid my $100.00 for a little one ounce jar of cream. (Actually, I bought two jars.) It must be good since it's so expensive, right? Not really. But, this particular cream seems to be showing visible signs of working. I'm hoping it's not just my overactive imagination, but my neck doesn't seem quite so saggy or jiggly lately. Could it really be true that snake venom based compound could actually be tightening my poor aging skin? Or is it simply seeping through to my brain and making me think it's working? It makes me think of that scene in 'Mama Mia' when one of Meryl's character's friends was hung over and couldn't get up. The other friend then jumped up and said "Quick! Get her donkey testicle cream!"


Well, I've now resorted to taking lots of pictures of my face and neck so that I can compare them several months down the road. Sounds like a seethingly brilliant idea, doesn't it? This is where I digress. As if it wasn't enough torture looking in a magnified mirror to apply my makeup, taking close-up pictures is enough to make most women my age go screaming into the closest plastic surgeon's office in tears, begging for help. It strikes the deepest fear of most women.




However, I felt this self-torture was necessary to have a true pictorial account of the virtues (or perhaps not) of this supposedly *miracle* cream that promises to work as well as Botox. Hmmm... That's quite some promise. Hopefully, I will find out for myself whether or not all of the promises are sleazy advertising bunk or might possibly have some truth to them somewhere.




This is where we discover whether or not there is any *proof in the pudding*, so to speak. In other words, if I don't make a pictorial chronicle of my neck & face, how will I ever know if it's really working? Honestly, they didn't promise a face-lift, so I need some proof. Right?




So, stick with me on this. I'll be updating the progress (with dauntingly realistic pictures) every other week. Since I purchased two jars, we'll just ride this pony to the end of the trail, okay? I'm thinking that it should last me 3 months if I use it twice a day, as directed. At the end of this *trial period* we'll find out whether I'm off to buy the company (or the stock) or whether I'll be exposing them for being frauds.

Are you in?



Does anyone remember the show 'Ally McBeal' and Greg Germann's character Richard Fish who had a *wattle fettish*? Seriously, are there any men out there worth having that really love a woman's *wattle*? NO! (Okay, fine. Perhaps there are a few *choice* men.) Most women don't like it either, including *moi*. When 'Ally McBeal' was popular (1997 -2002) I thought those were the most hilarious episodes! Now, I'm afraid I'd cry and throw up if I watched them. It's only funny when you're young and bulletproof.



Approximately a week ago, I received an enormous negative blood transfusion from a honking huge mosquito, on my neck. For a week now, it appears that I have a huge hickey on my neck. At my age. I only wish (just kidding). I have not even once, scratched it and yet it appears to have a very crusty scab. I had also gotten bitten several times on my chest and several on my upper back. None of those have turned crusty, nor have any of the mosquito bites I can ever remember having. Ever. So, I must have leprosy or something, right?


I seriously cannot go to see the Dermatologist here. The woman was spawned in Hell and I detest her. She's from India and does everything short of slapping you after you've waited two hours to see her. She verbally berates you for having moles and/or a tan. I tried to explain that I've always had moles. I also tried to explain to her that my tan is thanks to Neutrogena, but I'm sure she didn't understand me since she continued to verbally flog me throughout my visit, in a language she claims is English. Apparently, there is another English language entirely, that I'm unaware of.

I suppose I'll try to find a Dermatologist in Austin and make an appointment for the next time I go there. However, by the time that future appointment rolls around, you know the scab on my neck will be thoroughly healed. That, or I'll be dead. Why do we allow doctors like her to take over our medical fields in this country? And why don't we have more choices? And why can they not speak intelligible English?

Yes, I'm just full of questions today...